


The Sun, The Moon, The Truth

by KidsToday



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bullying, Depression, Everyone Has Issues, F/F, F/M, M/M, Romance, girls loving each other and being there for each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:53:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3869413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KidsToday/pseuds/KidsToday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That AU where Sansa, Margaery and Dany are not the popular kids but the freaks.</p><p>Margaery Tyrell is not popular (more the opposite, really), even though her brother is and her name should make her.<br/>But life isn´t always fair like that and when she thought things couldn´t get more complicated she has a heart to heart under the stars with the only two teenagers in the whole town who are just as fucked up as she is, if not more.<br/>It all goes downhill from there. (Or uphill, depending on how you look at it.)</p><p>Spoiler: this is not going to end with her as prom queen, dancing arm in arm with her two girl friends (or girlfriends!?) and everybody is happy and loved.<br/>this is not one of those stories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I don´t know what this is.  
> I was supposed to do homework but decided that writing modern day GoT fanfiction about my favorite three ladies being each others favorite three ladies was a much better way to spend my time.  
> I am not good at continuing stories, I´m sorry but I´ll try my best, i really like this idea.  
> Also English is not my first language and this is not beta read, so I apologize for any mistakes.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr: mylifeinnormality

()()()()

Take a deep breath.

It´s just a bad day, not a bad life.

()()()()

-They are just jealous.-

It´s what her Grandma used to say when the kids on the playground wouldn´t let her play with them.  
Now it´s what she tells herself when she walks trough the school halls and everybody is starring at her.

-They are all just jealous.  
Because you are a Tyrell, and because Loras is your brother and Renly is your boyfriend and because if you wanted to, you could rule this school.-

Margaery tries to make herself believe her own words, but it´s hard when somebody is throwing their water bottle in your face.  
That somebody is Joffrey Baratheon.  
She kows because even though her eyes are closed, cold water dripping down her face, she can hear his laugh, high and cackling, like a hyena.  
It´s the same laugh she hears every night in her dreams.  
Nightmares of course, not sex dreams or anthing like that. Ew.  
It´s the same laugh that has been haunting her every day since middle school.  
Sighing, she looks down at her flower printed t-shirt, now drenched.  
She only bought it this weekend, because she´s seen Melisandre wearing a similiar one to a football game once, and everybody likes Melisandre.  
Joffrey definetly likes Melisandre, she thinks, when she sees the two of them making out against the lockers.  
Margaery bites her lip, wondering what she shuld do now.  
Her first class starts in two minutes, Algebra, and the teacher hates her already even though it´s not her fault she´s just really bad at it, but there is no way she´s stepping into a classroom like this.

-Screw this.-

Going to her locker she takes out her gym shirt and turns around, shouldering her way through the mass of giggling cheerleaders that are no doubt laughing about her.  
It takes her a second to decide wether to use the girls bathroom down the hall or he one farther away.  
Last time she used the one closer to her classroom she stumbled in on the Stark girl starring at herself in the mirror like she could see through it, and that had just been weird.  
So she decides that it doesn´t matter if any more students see her drenched in water, they all hate her anyway, and makes her way to the one further away from her hell of algebra class.  
That one is empty, thankfully, and Margaery smiles to herself.  
On her way to one of the stalls she catches a look of herself in the mirrors and halts.  
Big blue eyes, a cute button nose, long brown wavy hair and all the right clothes.  
It´s so unfair, she should be popular.  
She knows she´s not ugly and besides, she´s a tyrell, and her brother is on the football team.  
But it´s always been like that: Golden boy Loras and little, weird, always smiling too big Margaery.  
She furrows her brows at her blue dyed hair tips.  
That was stupid, she only did it to feel braver and she actually thought it looked kind of good, but the looks of everybody in the halls this morning told her otherwise.  
At home she would dye them back first thing.  
Closing the bathroom stall door behind her, she can´t help but giggle when she sees „RENLY“ written on it in red marker with a big „HE´S MINE“ just under it.

-No,-  
she thinks,  
-he´s Mine.-

-But that´s not right either, is it?-  
A voice inside her head tells her.  
-Renly only belongs to Loras.-  
-You´re just there so nobody becomes suspicious, so your great brother doesn´t become like you, an outcast.-

„Shut up.“ she mumbles to herslef while changing into her gym shirt.

-You are only doing it so you can pretend your little crush on Renly is reciprocated. But the truth is, Renly chose your brother, just like everybody always does.-

„I know that, I know that. I am only doing this for Loras.“  
And how could she not.  
When your brother comes into your room in the middle of the night, crying, sobbing, telling you how he hates himself for loving a boy, and you pet his hair and tell him it´s okay and that it doesn´t make him any less of the Loras you know and love, and when he begs you to help, tells you he doesn´t know how to live without Renly (Renly, out of everyone it had to be Renly, the boy she loved since first grade, who always came to her house and used to call her „his little rose“, of course it was him, of course he had only ever been there because of Loras.), you don´t just say no.  
Even though it hurts so damn much every time Renly holds her hand in school or kisses her cheek and she knows that the second the two of them are alone she´s invisible.  
It´s for Loras, and she would do everything for Loras.  
Sighing, Margaery opens the bathroom door and makes her way to the secreariat.  
There is no way she is going to be late to Algebra again without a pass.  
The Lady at the counter likes her, she´ll help Margaery out.  
Once she´s there she sees she´s not the only one needing a late pass and even from behind she knows who the other person is.  
The long silver hair with the complicated braids and the simple black shirt, ripped jeans and worn out biker boots are a no brainer.  
If there´s one person who is even more of an outcast than Margaery herself it´s probably Daenerys Targaryen.  
Even though the other girl is probably the most beautiful in school and comes from an incredibly wealthy family nobody ever talks to her.  
But they don´t bully her either and of that Margaery is jealous.  
The silver haired girl turns around and Margaery winces.  
Scratch the whole being jelaous thing.  
Her eye is bruised and blue, her lip split open and looking like it only just stopped bleeding.  
Yeah, Margaery thinks, definetly not jealous.  
Everybody knows about Viserys Targaryen and his love for violence, especially regarding his younger sister.

-Everybody knows, but nobody ever does anything.-

Daenerys smiles slightly when she sees her but ends up only wincing and putting a finger up to her lip.  
Margaery smiles back and the other girl leaves, late pass in hand (because nobody is going to hold her responsible for being late when her face looks like this).  
Stepping up to the counter Margaery is just about to explain her predicament when she hears a voice behind her.  
„Hey Tyrell girl!“  
Behind her Daenerys is slowly making her way down the hall, going backwards, violet eyes fixed on Margaery.  
„I like you hair.“  
And it doesn´t even sound mocking, but like the other girl really means it.  
Margaery smirks, trying to cover her blush, and mumbles a „thanks“, but Daenerys is already gone.

-Maybe,-  
Margaery thinks, hands going up to touch her hair tips,  
-I´ll keep them like this.-

()()()()


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is chapter 2.  
> Thank you all for your support for this story!! <3  
> I don´t know what to think about this chapter. I am not really happy with it.  
> but whatever, tell me what you think.  
> And I promise, after this it´s going to really start. Our girls will meet.  
> Once again sorry for any mistakes, I am always open for corrections!:)
> 
> Once again my tumblr for those who care ;)  
> mylifeinnormality

()()()()

are you alive or just existing?

()()()()

Sansa was a happy kid.  
Her mom always tells stories at the dinner table about how she used to climb trees and run around getting her dresses dirty and how her hair looked like fire when the sun shone on it.  
Those stories are followed by a sigh and pitying look.  
„What happened? You have everything you could want, why are you always so sad?“  
I don´t know mom, Sansa wants to scream, i don´t need a reason to feel like shit.  
Instead she leaves the table and goes back to her room.  
Her blinds are drawn shut, keeping out the evening sun, and her floor is littered with clothes and cds and everything else.  
She used to care about that.  
Used to keep her room clean and pretty and herself even cleaner and prettier.  
She doesn´t know when it changed.  
When she started wearing her hair messy and in limp ponytails, put all her dresses and beautiful clothes to the back of her dresser and made room for hoodies and jeans, when she stopped putting on make up and brushing her hair and caring what others said about her.  
Sansa knows they talk behind her back, knows they say she´s a freak, disgusting, ugly, stupid, attention seeker, …  
She wishes it would make her feel something, would make her scream or cry or even laugh.  
Instead she´s numb.  
Has been for a long time now.  
(She doesn´t know how long. Time is something she has no control over anymore. Most of the time she has no idea what day of the week it is.)  
She lays down, it´s not even eight yet but nowadays she always feels tired, and closes her eyes.  
Downstairs somebody screams, Arya or Rickon, and she hears Robbs deep laugh.  
Lady whimpers and scratches at her door, Ghost barks outside her window.  
Sansa wishes they would all just stop.  
She wishes the world would stop.  
She slowly counts to ten and then everything is quiet.

()()()()

She wakes up the next day to sounds coming from downstairs.  
Arya and Bran are fighting and Sansa pulls her pillow over her head, trying to block them out.  
It doesn´t work.  
A glance at her mobile display tells her that it´s 4pm already.  
She slept over 20 hours.  
It doesn´t even surprise her anymore.  
Standing up Sansa doesn´t make an attempt to change out of her sweatpants and shirt into something else, her hair is falling out of its ponytail, thick, red strands falling into her face.  
She doesn´t notice them.  
Her feet are cold on the wooden floor and her room is dark, blinds still drawn shut, light switched off.  
She navigates her way to the door with ease, only making contact with her dresser once and uttering a quiet curse.  
The light in the hall is harsh, the natural sun streaming in through the windows making her eyes and head hurt.  
Sansa feels exhausted.  
She thinks about going back to bed.  
But her throat is aching (god knows why, it´s not like she´s been talking much the last weeks) and she desperately wants a glass of water.  
Also, her bladder is short of bursting.  
The bathroom on her floor is empty and if she thought the light in the hall was bad, this here is hell.  
Bright, white lamps are reflecting on the marble tiles and she squeezes her eyes shut.  
After using the toilet and washing her hands she looks up and meets her face in the mirror.  
The girl looking back at Sansa is a stranger.   
Hollow cheekbones, empty eyes and limp hair.  
The redhead feels like her reflection should prompt some reaction from her, anything, but all she can do is stare numbly.  
She´s been mostly good at ignoring mirrors, except for the one in the schools girls bathroom, that one got her without warning.  
Sansa used to love mirrors, used to love spending hours in front of them, looking at herself, getting herself ready.  
Those memories seem so strange now, like they´re not her own, like past Sansa is someone completely different than present Sansa, which is probably true, but it´s still strange that she feels so disconnected to everything that happened before she sunk into the sadness and her own mind.  
Before she drowned in it.  
She looks down again, fast.  
Her hands grip the sink and it feels good because it´s the most emotion she´s shown in months.  
But it doesn´t last, her arms are too weak and she is too weak and she leaves the bathroom without looking back up again.  
Down in the living room her Mom is flicking through a magazine while the TV is showing some sports game Robb had probably been watching.  
Catelyn Stark is humming and the door into the back yard is open and she can see Arya and Rickon running around, Bran sitting in the sun reading.  
The Stark household is always loud and full of live and Sansa used to love it, used to be proud of her Family and her siblings and being part of something so big and beautiful.  
Now it´s all just too much, no matter where she goes somebody is always talking and asking things and laughing and she wants it all to stop.  
Is it too much to ask for some quiet?  
But then again, Sansa doesn´t really ask.  
Sansa had hoped she could steal into the kitchen and back upstairs again without somebody   
noticing, but the second her feet touch onto the wood floor her Mom turns around.  
„Sansa! I thought you would never get up!“ Catelyn smiles at her and it´s so forced Sansa almost winces.  
Her and her mom used to have a great relationship. They used to go to the mall together and Sansa talked to her about her crushes and everything else and they laughed a lot.  
But that was old Sansa and new Sansa doesn´t know how to do all that and that´s what her Mom doesn´t understand.  
She wants old Sansa back, she doesn´t know how to talk to new Sansa, how to help new Sansa.  
Sansa herself just wishes her Mom would stop trying.  
She motions in the kitchen and turns around to make her way there, away from prying eyes, but of course her Mother stands up from her spot on the couch and follows.  
Of course.  
The younger Stark girl opens a bottle of water and gets a glass from the shelve.  
Maybe if she ignores that her Mom is in the room with her the older woman will leave her alone.  
Yeah, wishfull thinking.  
„So anyway, I´m really glad you´re awake. I had thought for a moment you had forgotten about the charity event at the Lannisters this evening.“  
Sansa had not forgotten, she had repressed it.  
An event at the Lannisters is the last thing she wanted, the last thing anyone wanted, really.  
But of course, her mother didn´t see it that way.   
„I already laid out a dress for you, it´s in your room. You´re gonna love it sweetie, it´s perfect for you.“

-No mom, old Sansa would have loved it. I don´t care.-

She never says the words, but thinks them at least five times a day.   
Instead she looks at her mom, at the forced happy look and the strained smile.  
„I´m not going to that.“ She mumbles into her glass, because if there is one thing that hasn´t changed about her it´s that she´s a coward.

-Cowardly, weak, little Sansa.-

Her mom´s face changes from pretend happy to strict, to angry, to not understanding, to annoyed. Sansa knows what´s coming.  
„No way young lady. You are going. I don´t know what is going on with you at the moment, what made you become this totally different person, but whatever it is snap out of it.  
This is something we are doing as a family, and even though you do your best not to be, you are part of that family.  
I am not letting you ruin this evening.“  
Because that´s all Sansa ever does, right? Ruin things.  
And really, what more could she have said to that.   
Her mom had it all figured out.  
Sansa just had to snap out of it.


	3. 3

()()()()

She´s mad but she´s magic.  
There´s no lie in her fire.  
-Charles Bukowski

()()()()

The Lannister Mansion is gigantic, embarassingly so, and Margaery can already feel the goosebumps growing on her skin and her hands begin to sweat.  
She can feel her smile become meaner and that´s never a good sign.  
She hates Loras (she doesn´t) for making her come here just because he wants to see his precious boyfriend.  
Isn´t she already doing enough for him?  
Margaery beginns touching her hair, curled to perfection, her blue tips fitting perfectly to the midnight blue of her dress, and smoothes down the silk of her gown.  
Loras walks up the big staircase next to her and she can see him roll his eyes out of the corner of her eye.  
„Stop it Marge, you look gorgeous like always!“  
She wishes he would stop mocking her.

-weird, little Margaery. Golden boy Loras.-

Inside it´s even more overdone. The walls are decorated in gold and red, banners with the old Lannister Lion hanging from the walls.  
Margaery feels like she set foot into the griffindor common room or something.  
The room is full of people, a lot off whom Margaery knows from seeing but just as many strangers.  
There are the Starks in one corner, all copper hair and brown and green colours, the Baratheons in another.   
Even some Boltons and Greyjoys are strutting around the hall.  
Margaery tries to stay close to Loras, to not get lost, just the thought of running into Joffrey makes her shiver.  
But of course as soon as Loras sees Renly in between his family he squeezes her arm and is gone.  
She sighs, smile still in place so it at least looks like she´s in control of herself and the situation.  
A glance of bright red catches her eye and she turns a little to her left only to see Sansa Stark leaning on a wall.  
The other girl looks great in her green dress and Margaery can´t help but feel jelaous.  
But then she sees the look on Sansa Starks face and knows she shouldn´t be.  
Her face is pale, even more so under the bright colour of her hair, her eyes seem empty and tired and everything about her posture screams that she wants to be here as much as Margaery herself.  
For a moment Margaery thinks about going up to her but she quickly deflects that idea.  
The two of them wouldn´t be good for each other.  
Instead she makes her way over to the bar, asking the waiter for a glass of champagne, knowing that at parties like these nobody is going to card her.  
She sipps slowly on the drink, just so she looks busy.

-God you are pathetic Margaery.-

On the other side of the room she can see Loras and Renly standing together, laughing, hands brushing together every now and again and she shakes her head, feeling so so stupid standing here by herself while her „boyfriend“ is obviously occupied flirting with her brother.  
She wishes she had someone who would make these horrible events a little bit more worthwile.  
Before she can completely drown in her self hating thoughts the doors open once again and in walks Viserys Targaryen, his sisters forearm gripped firmly in his long thin fingers.  
Both of them look breathtaking, him in a black tuxedo and her in a dark dress reaching mid thigh that makes her pale legs look endless, even though she is shorter than Margaery herself.  
But Viserys face looks too sharp and clean and too hard and Daenerys looks uncofortable, her with braids decorated silver hair shielding her face and Margaery remembers school yesterday and the bruises on her face.  
The small silver haired girl says something and her brother fiercely whispers something in her ear.  
Daenerys just nods.  
Margaery realizes that she is the only one watching the scene and she feels rude, quickly turning her head away.  
Her champagne glass is empty and she asks for another one, liking the warm feeling in her stomach and how the alcohol seems to make the smile on her face become more genuine.   
She doesn´t take her time with this one, downing it instead like it´s a shot of vodka.  
The guy at the bar looks at her for a second when she asks for a third one, but she just smirks and leans over, showing her cleavage, the alcohol making her braver and bolder than she is.  
She get´s her drink.  
The Tyrell girl wishes for something stronger, the bubbly and fruity taste not fittingg her mood.  
She remembers Loras house parties, all the people she hates, everybody who torments her on a daily basis filling her home, making her feel scared in a place that had always been her one safe haven.  
She remembers stealing a bottle of vodka and hiding in her room, trying not to sob and not to make a sound, the alcohol burning her throat and tears burning her eyes.  
Loras doesn´t look for her once, doesn´t try to include her.   
She knows he is in one of the bathrooms, sticking his tongue down her fake boyfriends thoat.  
She keeps drinking till the clear liquid isn´t disgusting anymore and till she passes out.  
Margaery wishes for one of those drinks now, the ones that make forgetting easier and that fit her mood.  
She doesn´t want good tasting party drinks that make her stomach feel a little warm and that´s it.  
Too absorb in her own thoughts she forgets to pay attention, forgets to keep her guard up and the dark shadow that´s looming over her startles her.

-stupid Margaery, stupid stupid stupid.-

Joffrey smiles down at her, mean and scary and mocking, and she wonders if that is what her smirks look like.  
They are alone, and she´s relieved for a second, at least he doesn´t have one of his goons with him.  
But that also means that nobody is gonna notice if he does anthing and Margaery tries to be inconspicious while she searchs the crowd at the other end of the room for Loras.  
Joffrey steps closer and Margaery tries not to give in and take a step back.  
For everybody else the young Lannister probably looks dashing, his black tuxedo fitting perfectly, his blue tie complementing his eyes, his golden hair slicked back, but Margaery only sees the Monster he is.  
“Well well if this isn´t little Margaery Tyrell. What do you think you are doing here, making everyboy loose their appetite while having to look at your disgusting weird face.“  
She knows that his words aren´t true, knows he is just a stupid boy but his words hit her where it hurts and just the sound of his voice makes her dizy and nauseaus and makes breathing harder. 

-weird, little Margaery. Nobody wants you here.-

She swallows, her nails biting into her skin, neck flushing. Where is her brother?  
“I was invited.“ 

She hates how her voice sounds, all weak and pathetic, her smile long gone, not strong enough to withstand his words.  
Joffrey laughs, all low and mocking and posessive, making shivers run down her spine.  
His face comes closer to hers, his hot breath on her nose making her want to throw up.  
“Oh no, you don´t really believe that, do you? Your brother was invited, you know, the Tyrell people like, the one people care about. He only brought you along because he feels sorry for you, being all alone, without anyone caring if you dissapeared or not,“  
His hand grips her upper arm, going all the way around her bizeps and she can´t help but whimper.  
His eyes look cold and crazy and violent and Margaery wonders why nobody is noticing, doing anything.  
She tries to avert her eyes.  
“Look at me.“  
His voice is getting seething, dangerous and she wonders whyt she did that this boy in front of her hates her so much, that everybody hates her so much.  
“I said look at me! Nobody wants you here, don´t you see? You are all alone and nobody cares. They don´t even see you, they don´t notice you. You are just a liability.  
Nobody wants you. So how about I be a genleman and bring you home, doesn´t that sound nice?“  
Margaery knows she doesn´t have a choice.  
His hand on her arm is unrelenting while he drags her out of the ballroom and down a corridor, away from everybody.  
She knows she lost and while she is scared, so so scared she can feel her heart beating in every pore of her body, she can´t concentrate on anything else but on the fact that he´s right, that Loras is somewhere off with Renly and he won´t notice that she´s gone, doesn´t care that he brought her here, made her be in a room with everybody who makes her feel weak.  
If he doesn´t find her at the end of the evening he´ll just assume she went home, he´ll think “silly little Margaery couldn´t handle being normal for one evening. No wonder nobody likes her, she´ll just have to try harder.“  
Joffrey is dragging her to a door at the end of the hall, and Margaery has simply accepted that whatever comes next is going to be horrible when there is a voice behind them.  
“Hey!“  
It´s soft and feminine and firm but most important it makes Joffrey stop and turn around.  
There behind them with her silver hair and pale skin and dark dress, looking like a queen in the low lights of the corridor stands Daenerys Targaryen.   
There is a smile on her full lips and her eyes are locked on Margaery.  
“I´ve been searching for you all night! I need somebody to dance with.“  
At first Margaery is sure she means Joffrey, but then the other Girl walks up to them, ignores the blonde boys confusion, and takes her hand.  
“I thought we where supposed to meet at the bar but when I looked you where gone. Good thing I found you!“  
The smile is still on her lips but the look in the other girls eyes tells Margaery that Daenerys knows full well that it was indeed a good thing that she found the two of them.  
Margaery clears her thoat.  
“Y-Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I was waiting for you but Joffrey wanted to show me something.“  
Daenerys shrugs her shoulders, her gaze still on Margaery, firm and comforting and concentrated just on her.  
And it´s so funny that she´s never spoken a word with this girl before, except for their encounter in school, and now she´s holding her hand, being saved.  
“Well, though luck for Joffrey because I´m stealing you away.“  
And with that Daenerys´ eyes leave Margaerys face for the first time and co ncentrate on Joffrey.  
Her eyes are daring him to say something and Joffrey looks furious, seething and for a moment margaery thinks something horrible is going to happen, but then he let´s her arm go and, with one last look at the two of them, turns around and leaves.  
Margaery breathes in deeply for the first time in ten minutes.  
Her knees are weak and she her heart is racing and she feels like sobbing.  
Leaning back against the wall behind here she sinks down against it, her mind trying to catch up with everything that´s just happened.  
Daenerys is still there, standing in front of her and Margery notices that they are still holding hands.  
For a few minutes they just stay like this, Margaery trying to get her breathing under control and the other girl just being next to her, offering a kind of unspoken comfort.  
“You okay Tyrell girl?“  
Margaery let´s out a laugh that sounds more like she´s choking.  
“No, no not really. But thanks, for before.“  
She looks up and Daenerys just shrugs.  
„I saw him grab your arm and drag you out and I just knew that there was nothing good coming out of that.“  
Her face goes dark for a moment and margaery thinks maybe the other girl is talking from experiencce. She remembers Viserys and his cold thin hands and shivers.  
„My name, it´s Margaery by the way“  
No it was Daenerys turn to laugh.  
“I know. I´m Daenerys.“  
“Yeah, I … know.“  
Margaery feels akward suddenly, sitting there on the ground of some dark corridor with some girl she barely knows holding her hand while they are making introductions.  
Both of them are silent for a few seconds, then Daenerys gives her hand a squeeze and pulls her up.  
“Come on, I know a place we can go.“  
Margaery follows without question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor marge. Joffrey is a disgusting little shit.
> 
> So first of all I´m sorry, I know this is like a week late.  
> Also, remember when I told you that the girls would meet this chapter? haha yeahhhh. Well at least two of them did, right? right?  
> Thanks for your comments, they help so much in continuing this story!  
> I know the characters are a quite ooc, but I hope you still like them.
> 
> keep commenting! <3
> 
> my tumblr:  
> mylifeinnormality


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright I´m a horrible person.  
> I don´t know what happened.  
> This isn´t the complete fourth chapter and I am not sure if I am happy with it but it´s 2000 words and I thought it may be better than nothing!
> 
> Thank you for all your great comments they keep me from abandoning this completely and make me excited to continue writing, even if it takes months: :/ :)  
> Keep em coming!:))

()()()()

“there will be dozens of people who will take your breath away,  
but the one who reminds you to breathe is the one you should keep.“

()()()()

Margaery wants to be able to say that everything about the Lannisters is ugly and horrible but Daenerys (“or just Dany if you want to.“) leads her through a door at the back of the mansion and before Margaery can stop herself she gasps at the scene in front of her.  
The garden is massive, more like a park, really, and the sky is clear and full of stars.  
Her companion must have heard her gasp because she turns around and smiles that smile that makes Margaery feel safe and warm (and something else she can´t quite name yet).  
Dany laughs, head thrown back and silver hair catching in the moonlight, when she sees the look on the brunettes face.  
“I know right? Is there anything abut them that´s not completely pretentious?“   
Margaery looks at her with something akin to wonder on her face.  
“Oh but you can´t deny that this is beautiful!“ Her hands touch the smooth wood of one of the big benches that decorate the empty lawn.  
Dany turns to her after that comment, head turned to the side and a curious look on her face, like Margaery just said something that she hadn´t expected.  
„No I guess I can´t.“  
Margaery looks up and their eyes meet and for a second she thinks maybe Dany wasn´t just talking about the garden.  
But then she scoffs at herself.

-Of course, Margaery. Stupid, silly Margaery.-

Daenerys nods her head to her right, asking Margaery to follow and together they make their way deeper into the beautiful mess of flowers of all kinds.  
In the distance the brunette can see a big glistening surface and really? They have a lake?  
She can now see that they are following a clear path and to both sides of them the hedges grow taller and taller till Margaery can only see forward and Danys back in front of her and she realizes that they are in some kind of labyrinth.  
She begins to feel a little uneasy.   
Not because of her companion. No, she would probably follow the other girl everywhere right know, which maybe is a little weird seeing as they only just met literal minutes ago.  
But if Dany had wanted to hurt her or something she could just have had Joffrey have his fun with Margaery  
No, what was worrying her was the fact that it was getting darker and darker and they were both walking deeper into a labyrinth that the didn´t know the size or the way out of.  
Margaery swallows, on the one hand not wanting to say anything and ruin the fun like she probably always did and on the other getting really worried.  
Her stupid, overthinking side wins.  
„Uh Dany? You sure this is a good idea? What if we get lost?“  
She hates how pathetic she sounds and she half expects Daenerys to roll her eyes and sigh at her childish behaviour, to tell her to get a grip and not always ruin anything.  
(In her imagination Danys face morphs into that of Loras and her voice gets deeper, mocking.)  
But the other girl only laughs and there is nothing degrading or annoyed about it.  
„Don´t worry pretty Tyrell. I know my way around, been here some times before.“  
She turns around in a flash and smirks at Margaery, but it´s not cold and mean and cutting like her own but warm and beautiful and somehow even seductive and it´s all that Margaery remembers.  
That smirk and the way Danys voice sounded when she called her „pretty“.  
Margaery doesn´t think she will ever forget.  
And it´s then, while the other girls hair still glows in the light of the moon and her skin looks white against her in the dark background dissapearing black dress, that Margaery realizes how absurd this whole situation is.  
An hour ago she was standing alone in the dining hall of the Lannisters with nobody she knew and nobody to talk to, about to nearly get kidnapped or whatever by Joffrey, and now she is wandering the Lannister gardens at night with the most mysterious person in their whole town.  
Also, she´s just been called pretty for the first time. Well, except for when her brother says it, but that doesn´t count.  
Margaery should probably be embarrassed that this is such a big deal for her but all she can think about is the way Dany said it.  
So completely casual, like it is the most normal thing in the world.  
It´s almost enough to make Margery believe it.  
Almost.  
Her companion sighs loudly and turns around, grinning big and eyes sparkling and now that the moonlight is illuminating her it´s the first time Margaery can see the shadow of a bruise still on her face.  
Dany plops herself down on the grass and looks at Margaery expectantly.  
The brunette girl begins to look at her surroundings and can´t help but gape, slowly sinking down next to her new friend.  
They are surrounded by roses.  
Red, yellow, pink. Even some blue ones.  
It feels like they are swimming in a see of them, Margaery is stunned.  
She turns her head and catches Daenerys watching her, a content smile on her lips, like this was just the reaction she was hoping for.  
„It´s beautiful isn´t it? I come here sometimes to think. I don´t think one of the Lannisters has ever set food in the gardens and the fence is quite easy to climb on the other side of the lake.“  
Margaery grins at that, the image of Daenerys climbing fences in walked down boots and simple dresses or torn jeans so surreal and still so fitting.  
„It may be cliche and boring but I love roses. And they made me think of you, I´ve been meaning to show you for some time now.“  
Margaerys head whips around at that.   
She´s been meaning to show her? Does that mean Dany noticed or even thought about her before this evening?  
And why did roses remind Dany of her?  
The other girl probably sees the confusion on Margaerys face and lets out a small laugh.  
„Because of your family? You know, they say the Tyrell house is the house of roses, or something like that. I never really got the whole story but it came back to me when I saw this the first time and so I´ve wanted to take you.“  
Margaery is still quiet. Simply because she has no idea what to say but at the same time so many questions.   
There is too much new information in everything the silver haired girl just told her.  
Daenerys smile slips a little and her eyes roam Margaerys face nervously before she fixes them on an imaginary thread on her dress.  
“I mean it´s stupid. You probably have a rose garden even bigger than this one at your house and...“  
“We don´t.“   
Dany looks up at Margaerys sudden words.  
The latter clears her throat, pushing a strand of hair behind her hair unsurely.  
“I mean we had one, when I was small, but my mom was the only one looking after and investing time in it so after she died it just kinda did too..“   
It´s quiet again after that and Margaery can´t make herself meet Daenerys eyes, too embarrassed about what she just confided to the other girl.

-stupid, silly Margaery. Always ruining everything with her helplessness.-

Then there´s a whispered “oh“ from her companion and Margaery realizes that the other girls voice is still a little unsure herself so she feels like she should defuse the situation some more.  
„So, it´s not stupid. Like, at all. It´s beautiful. The roses I mean. And I like it here, it´s good. It´s good that you took me. Thank you.“  
And she means it.  
They both look at each other again and now Daenerys is smiling again and Margaery likes this much more than the nervous, unsure version of her. This seems much more like the real thing.  
“Yeah, no problem.“  
The moment between them is easy, comfortable but there is something that´s been sitting in the back of Margaerys mind and she can´t keep herself from asking even if she hates herself for it.  
„Do you want to show Loras too? My brother I mean, because he´s also a Tyrell.“  
She feels pathetic and needy but there is just that part of her that needs to ask, needs to know if this was about her or about some old forgotten family stories, as selfish as it sounds.  
Daenerys looks at her with that something in her eyes that Margaery can´t place, like she´s trying to figure her out.  
Then the other girl turns her head to the sky and slowly lays down, her silver hair like a halo around her.  
„No.“  
It´s easy as that and Margaery doesn´t need her to clarify, doesn´t need to be told that this here was for her, not for Loras, not for any other Tyrell but for her, and it´s enough, it´s more than she had expected, more than she ever got and even though she doesn´t really get it, doesn´t understand why her, she lays down next to the silver haired girl beside her.  
The lawn is a little wet and she´s sure she´s gonna be cold later but right know her elbow is touching Daenerys elbow and Margaery thinks that her heart should be racing, but it´s not.  
It´s calm and steady, calmer than it´s been the whole evening, being in a room with so many people who hated and scared her, calmer than it´s been the whole week, having to go to school everyday to listen to people she didn´t do anything to tell her how unwanted and stupid she was.  
It´s just calm.  
And Margaery would say she´s just content, but when she thinks about it she´s not just content but happy, even though they aren´t doing or saying anything.  
This is all still so surreal.  
Maybe in a few seconds she´ll wake up, in her own bed or somewhere in a foreign room, Joffreys face close to hers and she´ll realize nobody came to help her escape from him.  
She shudders.  
„If you´re cold we can go inside again?“  
Margaery hadn´t noticed Dany watching her but the prospect of going back to the others again, away from this somewhat magical world where it seems like no one can reach them makes her all but scream the “NO!“.  
Dany flinches.  
„Sorry. Sorry, but let´s just stay for a little longer alright?“  
The other girl shrugs, grinning.  
„Sure, as long as you want. I´m in no hurry to get back to anyone.“  
A shadow passes over her face and Margaery remembers that while she may have to go back home with a brother who only uses her and doesn´t notice when she´s gone and a boyfriend who will not sleep in her bed tonight, Daenerys has to go back home to an empty home with a brother who uses her as a punching bag if he feels like it.  
It always bothered the brunette girl, knowing nobody was doing anything to stop the abuse, but know she clenches her fists, getting angry while she thinks about what the girl next to her, who saved her without knowing her and showed her a garden full of roses because they made her think of Margaery, has to endure on a daily basis.  
But she doesn´t say anything either, not wanting to ruin the moment, and maybe that´s selfish but Margaery can´t help herself.  
Now she´s the one staring, turning her head to the side, hands folded on top of her stomach while trying not to loose the contact between both their elbows.  
Dany is looking at the stars, face open and calm, unreadable. She seems relaxed, and Margaery smiles at how at ease they are with each other, like they´ve know each other for a long time.  
She tries not to ogle the other girl too much, but damn, Daenerys is beautiful. There is no denying her full lips, big striking eyes, perfectly sculpted nose, and her hair, those silver blonde strands framing her face, making her look like an angel.  
Margaery should be jealous but all she feels when she looks at her new friend is warmth. It starts in the pit of her stomach and builds up into her chest, making her skin tingle.  
It´s … nice.  
She doesn´t know how long the both of them lay there, counting stars and relishing the easy silence between them, but suddenly there is a noise breaking through the quiet of the night, a rustling of leaves and the sound of feet upon wet grass, and Margaery jumps up onto her elbows.  
She looks behind her and there between the roses, with her hair like fire in the moonshine, stands Sansa Stark, looking like a painting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know no Sansa. but part two of chapter four will change that, pinky promise!
> 
> Did you like it though? not too sappy or something? IIIIIII don´t know.  
> always open for suggestions.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don´t even have an excuse. I´m just really sorry.
> 
> But you guys! Your comments on the last chapter just completely blew me away!! You can´t imagine how big I was smiling with every word you guys wrote, seriously I was and still am so so blown away!! Thank you thank you so much!  
> Please keep it up, I know I don´t really deserve it with the whole slow updating but they really really keep me going ad I just love knowing what you all think!:)) <3
> 
> I don´t know wether this chapter is good or bad but it´s something!;)
> 
> Thanks again for the support and that you keep reading!:)

The other girl looks shocked at finding them there, her hands clutching the long sleeves of her green velvet dress, her eyes big and blue and she seems frozen.  
Margaery wants to take a picture, of the way her hair settles on her shoulders and stands out against the otherwise black night and of her pale pretty face, her eyes glancing between Margaery and Daenerys like she´s deciding what to do.  
Dany does not seem as startled by the noise as Magaery was, and she smiles when she sees the Stark girl.   
“Hey Sansa.“ her voice is soft but her eyes honest and she sits up, turning around fully, before crossing her legs and leaning on her arms behind her.  
Sansa gives her a smile, it´s small and someone else would have called it shy but Margaery knows that´s not it, because Sansa Stark is not a shy person she´s just … sad.   
But that doesn´t seem right either so Margaery stops trying to analyse and instead decides to follow Danys lead and face the other girl.  
Sansa still hasn´t moved, neither forward in their direction or backwards to get away, so Margaery decides to speak.  
“Dany and I were just catching some fresh air and enjoying the stars, you want to join us?“ She smiles at the redhead, and it´s not one of her cutting smirks but a real one, making dimples appear in her cheeks, and it feels weird. Weird but not bad.  
Sansa looks at her and then down quickly, her brow creasing, like she´s not quite sure what to do, before she clears her throat a little.  
“Yeah, okay. Thank you.“ Her voice is flat, dead, but still polite because everyone knows Sansa Stark is a good girl.  
Margaery watches as the tall girl walks up to them before slowly sitting down next to Daenerys, shuffling around a little so the three of them are sitting in something akin to a semicircle.  
Her movements are stiff and heavy, like every step is exhausting her and Margaery thinks that yeah, sad definitely isn´t the right word.  
Sansa tucks her knees up to her chest, leaning her head on them and she looks like nothing more than a kid right there in front of their eyes.

 

()()()()

 

All she had wanted was to get out.  
Her mom had gotten her in the dress and her brothers in tuxedos (and her little sister in one too because god forbid Arya even touches frill) and after Caitlin deemed them all perfect looking they had been on their way.  
And now here Sansa is, and everywhere around her are people talking and laughing and being obnoxious and all it´s all too much.  
All sounds are muted and sometimes she feels like someone sprayed fog over her eyes and her whole body is heavy and tired.  
Her Mom grips her arm and walks her around the room, stopping here and there to make smalltalk, never letting go of her daughter, like she´s afraid she´s gonna run away.  
But Sansa doesn´t feel like running, she´s not feeling like much at all, except for being alone.  
Yeah she´d really like to be alone.  
She doesn´t know how much time has passed, how much longer they have to stay.  
She remembers the beginning of the evening when there was a moment where Margaery Tyrell from her school looked at her and for a second Sansa thought the other girl was about to come over to talk to her.

-please don´t.- Sansa had thought. -There is nothing here that will make this worthwhile. It´s just me, and even of that there isn´t much.-

But luck had been on her side because a second later the brunette had turned around again and that was that.  
Sansa feels the hand around her arm loosen and looking up notices that her Mom is in deep discussion with a tall blonde women with short hair, so she takes her chance.  
“I´m gonna get something to eat.“ she mumbles and she isn´t even sure her Mom heard her but she makes no move to stop her daughter.  
Sansa doesn´t know where she is going, where her body is dragging itself, all she notices is fresh air hitting her in the face and the sweet smell of flowers, but her surroundings are unclear to her.   
She thinks about just sitting down now that she is outside and alone as far as she can see but her feet carry her farther and farther and maybe they wont ever stop again.  
What a silly thought.  
In retrospect it´s funny how Sansas mind has been blank for the last months and even though her thoughts have been running wild at times all her brain can really concentrate on is the lack of everything, of feelings and emotions and life and then her feet carry her deeper and deeper into dark surroundings and then without warning she sees them, laying on the ground seemingly in their completely own world and when they turn around, the silver haired girl at first and then the brunette (who she realizes a second later is Margaery Tyrell, and the Targaryen girl) and she locks eyes with them, for a quarter of a second eveything inside her erupts into light and her body isn´t as heavy anymore and her mind not as blank and for the first time in months she´s not tired to the bones and maybe it sounds impossible and cliche but it´s true and Sansa doesn´t know why.  
“Hey Sansa.“ the blonde says, and if it were anybody else she would have already turned around but something is keeping her here.  
The voice of the Targaryen is soft and pretty and it makes Sansas stomach fill with warmth.  
She thinks maybe she is smiling but she isn´t sure.  
“Dany and I were just catching some fresh air and enjoying the stars, you want to join us?“ the brunette adds and Sansas skin tingles.  
(Dany.. Dany.. Daenerys. she remembers.)  
It´s almost too much, the way her body reacts and feels but Sansa wants it to never stop, so she says yes, says “Yeah, okay. Thank you.“ and she knows her voice is still flat and numb because they are just two girls and they are not just going to fix her but as she walks over to them and sits down she can feel the grass underneath her legs and the palms of her hands being wet and she sees the flowers she´s surrounded by and the way Margaerys knee is touching that of Daenerys just sightly, and she notices that the sky is dark and full of stars and it must be late and she notices how beautiful both of the girls sitting in a circle next to her are.  
Sansa is a little confused and overwhelmed so she tucks her knees under her chin, wraps her arms around them.  
There is silence for a minute and she isn´t sure if it´s uncomfortable or not because she doesn´t notice these things anymore.  
Her concentration is on the stars above her and she gets why the other two have been watching them, they are insanely bright and there are so many of them and they light up the faces of her two companions.  
“So have you been enjoying the festivities, Sansa?“ There is something mean in Margaerys voice but Sansa gets that it´s not directed at her, and she also gets that the question doesn´t really need an answer so she settles for looking pointedly at the brunette, her eyebrows raised.  
She doesn´t know where she takes the bravery or energy to do so, to communicate with them in a way that feels easy and not forced and real.  
Margaery snorts, her nose crunching up and chest puffing up. It makes Sansa feel something in the pit of her stomach but Margaery slaps her hands over her mouth and looks horrified and terrified for a second.  
“Sorry.“   
Daenerys looks at the brunette, head cocked to the side, brows furrowed together, like she is searching for something.  
Sansa would like to know what it is.  
The silver haired girl turns to her now, smile gracing her lips, all soft and strong and brave and Sansa notices the bruise around her eyes and for a second she feels like someone punched her in the chest and she wants to reach out and touch it, make it disappear.  
“Who did that?“ the words leave her lips before she knows whats happening, a simple question, and Sansa knows she should be embarassed or horrified or guilty but she doesn´t know how to, and she knows that she shouldn´t have asked and she sees Margaery tense up, looking uncomfortable but also like she wants to know the answer and she sees the way the smile is wiped out of Daenerys face and maybe she just ruined everything.  
The thought somehow scares her, her heartbeat speeds up.  
Daenerys (or Dany, like she heard Margaery say) sits rigid and still, looking like she forgot how to breathe.  
Sansa knows how that feels.  
But then it´s gone and the smile is back, this time mysterious and a little scared.  
“That´s a story for another time. We shouldn´t talk about such things here, this is a happy place!“  
And with that she grins brightly at the other two, but Margaery only looks sad and Sansa doesn´t feel all that good anymore herself.  
She sees the way Margaery looks at the other girl, all big eyes and soft smile and Sansa tries to remember ever seeing them in school together but her life is only one big numb blur so there isn´t really much to remember.  
Daenerys still looks fake happy and that seems wrong because her hair is the colour of molten silver and her eyes are nearly violet and she knew Sansas name but not in a bad way and she´s probably one of the only people that smile at Sansa and mean it and there is a bruise on her face but her smile is still so brave and she knows what it feels like to not only be hurt emotionally but physically but she still believes in happy places and Sansa doesn´t feel much but she feels that something this beautiful should never be sad and always real happy.  
So she lays down next to her, not touching because she still doesn´t like people touching her but also because maybe once she starts she wont be able to let go, and she folds her hands on top of her stomach and out of the corner of her eye she can see Margaery doing the same at the blondes other side, like some silent understanding, and then finally Daenerys sinks down in their middle.  
Sansa feels okay.  
She only met these two girls a few minutes ago and before tonight they have never spoken a word but she knows there is something connecting them, like they´re all not as happy as they should be and like they are all just a little more fucked up then everybody else.  
She knows she doesn´t like when Margaery apologizes for just letting go and when Daenerys is fake happy and she also gets it, people always think Sansa is some naive, stupid little kid but she´s not, she get´s that they probably won´t ever speak again after this and that whatever this is it´s not really real and it doesn´t count because they are far away from everything that´s normal and by school on Monday Margaery will be back to cutting smiles in hallways and Daenerys will be back to smoking cigarettes under the bleachers and haunted eyes and Sansa herself, Sansa won´t even remember much of this because the fog will be back again and her mind is gonna blank and her sight blurry, so yeah, she get´s it.  
But right now she is just letting herself feel something, feel the warm bodies next to her and the silence that is neither swallowing her or spitting her out and the stars above her that make her feel small in a really good way, and yes,  
Sansa feels okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah...what was that!?  
> Did you like the way I wrote Sansa or was it too touchy-feely-suddenly-happy?  
> I´m thinking about continuing the next chapter after the whole Lannister party, maybe it´s time for some change of scenery!?  
> Tell me what you need and want to see! <3


	6. Chapter 6

“Does the sun promise to shine?  
No, but it will,  
even behind the darkest clouds it will.  
And no promise will make it shine longer or brighter,  
for that is its fate,  
to burn until it can burn no more.  
So, to love you is not my promise,  
it is my fate,  
to burn until I can burn no more.“

-Atticus

 

()()()()

 

Margaery gets home on sunday morning, at the crack of dawn.  
Loras is driving with Renly in the passenger seat.  
Margaery had left the Lannisters with his hand in hers, his mouth next to her ear, pretending to whisper secrets only between the two of them.   
Now him and her brother are linking pinkyfingers over the console, talking quietly with each other like they are the only people in the car, or in the world.  
Margaerys head is propped onto the window and she´s trying her hardest not to fall asleep.  
The sky is a soft orange, she can still make out the shape of the moon over the trees but all the stars are gone by now.  
It makes a smile appear on her face, knowing that they stayed as long as her and Dany and Sansa lay on the wet ground and started to disappear as soon as she heard Loras calling her name.  
Dany and Sansa.  
Her smile only get´s wider, thinking about her two new friends.  
It´s silly she knows, and she shouldn´t get her hopes up, come Monday they would all just pretend none of this ever happened but nobody can take the last few hours from her.  
For the first time in her life she felt like she belonged, like people were happy just with her being herself.  
Loras asks her something and her head shoots up.  
“Mmh?“  
Loras chuckles. It´s meaner than Danys, not as soft and adoring.  
“I asked what you were doing out there, getting your dress all wet?“  
“Oh, we were just talking.“ As soon as the words leave her mouth Margary wants to slap herself.  
“We?“ Her brother is looking at her through the rear-view mirror, his eyes asking.  
Margaery swallows.  
“Yeah, I was with Sansa Stark and Daenerys Targaryen, you know the-“  
Loras interrupts her.  
“Yeah I know who they are.“ His tone is surprising sharp and Margaery is confused.  
“What are you doing hanging around with those two?“  
Her eyebrows furrow together at her brothers question, well not the question itself but the way he asked it.  
She can see Renly lay his hand comfortingly on Loras thigh.  
“What he means is that everybody knows that the Targaryens are not people you should hang around with, people keep away from that girl for a reason and her brother is dangerous. And Sansa Stark may have been one of the good ones once but nowadays she seems a little crazy, like maybe she´s on drugs.  
Loras is just worried about you, we both are.“  
His eyes are caring and honest and somehow that makes Margaery even angrier.  
Loras is concentrating on the road again and she can´t believe that the two of them are serious, that they are worried about her safety when she´s with two of the only people who get her, who are like her  
(Dany is hurt and so strong and brave and she brings people together and Sansa is not on drugs but she is sad so so sad and somemthing else that Margaery can´t quite name and she is still polite and timid but she had no problem asking Dany where she got her bruise and somehow Margaery feels like those two girls are just so important to this world and to her)  
but have no problem letting Joffrey drag her away from everyone or looking away when she´s being pushed into lockers or called names, and she´s furious.  
But she´s also Margaery

-cowardly, stupid, little Margaery-

so she just smirks, cold and calculated and so so familiar and shrugs.  
“It was probably just a one time thing anyway.“  
And she still feels the guilt sitting low and hot in her stomach half an hour later when she falls asleep in her bed.

()()()()

She wakes up not quite five hours later and her watch tells her it´s just about to be 10am.  
The sunlight streaming in through her window lights up her room and her soft green walls seem almost white.  
Margaery lays in bed for a few more minutes, eyes fixed on the ceiling.  
She feels weird. Her stomach is a little queasy, probably from the champagne and her feet hurt like they always do after an evening of wearing heels.  
But that´s not what she means.  
She feels different, like her body and mind know something now, like they learned something at that Lannisters party and she can´t explain what it is.  
Shaking her head she get´s up, stretching her limbs and telling herself she´s being stupid.

-You´re probably just getting your period, no reason to be weird Margaery.-

She is almost out of the door and on her way downstairs when she remembers that she is still just in her pajamas and hasn´t showered or brushed her teeth and normally that wouldn´t be a problem, it´s only breakfast on a Sunday morning, but she knows that Renly spent the night and even though she knows he isn´t her real boyfriend and even though she doesn´t even like him like that she can´t face him looking this way.  
Loras would smirk at her and ruffle her hair and make some stupid joke that isn´t funny and only hurts and Renly would smile at her like she´s just some little girl, like she´s something to pity.  
She can´t have that.  
Not today, not while she is still trying to cling to every little moment of last night, not while the voice in her head is repeating her words from this mornings car ride again and again.  
-“just a one time thing.“-  
So she walks to her closet and pulls out her pretty jeans and her soft red pullover that her Grandma got for her once because even though she wants to look good she also just needs to feel comfortable and relaxed on the one day she doesn´t have to look over her shoulder in fear.  
The sun is shining but Margaery knows it´s colder than it looks.  
The beginnings of Autumn have always been her favorite, rainy weeks or sun filled days full of crisp freezing air.  
To her it feels like the world is preparing for something great, and it always makes her feel like maybe she is too.  
She takes longer for her shower than she normally does, getting lost in her thoughts while trying not to drown in them like she does sometimes, and by the time she is downstairs, clothed and her still damp hair in a wet ponytail, it´s a little after eleven.  
Renly is sitting at the counter reading the newspaper while Loras is making pancakes at the stove and Margaery hates them for looking this domestic and pretending they are all grown up and better than everybody else when they can´t even hold hands outside the house.  
(She knows that´s not fair, knows as well as they do that they wouldn´t be accepted by everybody and that coming out is something they are so afraid of even though they pretend they aren´t and that Margaery shouldn´t judge them for this, never for this, but sometimes she just can´t help herself and even fewer times the dark part of her brain thinks about how nice it would be to not be the only Tyrell people call names anymore.)  
Renly looks up at her and there is that smile again, too soft and too nice and too caring because she knows he doesn´t really.  
“Morning Margaery.“ he says, and the words sound like he is talking to a small child or a wounded animal and it´s so unfair because sometimes she thinks she may hate Renly but all she really wants is for him to talk to her like a person.  
Loras turns around at the sound of his boyfriends voice, his smile big and too real and he is just so pretty with his golden curls and his dimples and suddenly all she wants is to get out, to get away from them and she doesn´t know what´s wrong with her today because she never had a problem with them before, not like this, she always told herself that they were the only two people treating her good and fairly and pretended she didn´t feel her stomach churning with hurt at some of the things they say.  
But now all she can think about is Danys elbow touching hers and Sansas soft smiles that cost her so much energy and the things they talked about and everything else feels wrong.  
Renly and Loras stare at her expectantly and all she can do is stare back because something is happening, something is changing and she just wants to disappear, please let her disappear.  
And at first Margaery thinks she imagined it, thinks it´s wishful thinking but then Loras walks to the front door because the bell really just rung, and Margaery is already thanking whoever it is for getting her out of this situation.  
She hears the door opening and some words exchanged and before she can make out the voice of the other person Loras is back and he is frowning and he looks at her like she did something wrong and even though she has no reason to Margaery starts to panic and feel bad and oh god, what if it´s Joffrey and he said something to Loras about last night or what if it´s the police and she did something bad she can´t remember but before she can think any more Loras speaks, words nearly growled through his teeth and Margaery is suddenly really really scared.  
“There is someone at the door for you.“  
He is glaring at her and she gulps, before slowly walking out of the room in the direction of the door.  
Her palms are sweaty and her heart is racing and really, she is just such a baby.  
The door is closed again and for a second she thinks about how rude that was of Loras but then she isn´t thinking at all because there, at the stairs to her house, clad in black jeans that are ripped at the knees and pushed into the black boots at her feet, wearing only a thin grey sweatshirt and hair in complicated braids that are so typically her, stands none other than Daenerys Targaryen.  
And she is smiling, directly at her, puffing out little white clouds with every breath she takes and Margaery realizes that she´s there for her, not for Loras or Renly or for business but for her.  
And suddenly her heartbeat is steady again and her hands calm and her body relaxes and all she wants to do is laugh.  
And she does, because -fuck- Loras for scaring her and making her feel guilty, because right there, that girl in front of her is so damn beautifull, and she is here for -her-.  
Only for Margaery.  
And she is laughing and snorting and maybe she would have been embarassed if not for Danys smile widening in the not-meanest way possible and her hair glittering like the stars they had watched and Margaerys heart bumping strong and steady.  
She stops finally and then they just look at each other.  
It´s weird, but a good weird, a weird that makes you never want to be normal and one that just fits.  
(Because none of the other weirds she had been called or felt had ever fit her, they had always been either too small or too big and she either choked or drowned in them and she´s not even making sense anymore.)  
“What are you doing here?“ Margaerys words are still a little breathless and her cheeks warm.  
Daenerys shrugs, all grace and sly smiles and hidden truths and ignored bruises and Margaery thinks about how damn important this girl is.  
“I thought maybe you´d want to get breakfast.“   
And god, Dany is so brave because Margaery herself could have never droven to the other girls house and asked her for breakfast, no matter how much she wanted to.  
She smiles even bigger when she thinks about Loras inside fuming and Renly putting his hand on her brothers thigh and the both of them talking like adults and like they know what´s right for her and she feels really light.  
Her eyes find Danys and her whole body feels warm, her skin tingles and she doesn´t even try to think about what this could mean.  
“Sure, let me just grab my jacket.“  
And then they are gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gnaaaaaahhh guys, I don´t even know anymore! I just want to write good chapters but I have no idea how anymore!  
> I´m sorry for making you wait and then giving you filler chaps like this.
> 
> But once again thanks so much for you support it really means the world!   
> I still hope you like this because you deserve to read only things you like and I try to give you better stuff again next time!  
> But hey, it´s girl time ahead next chapter!! Are you excited? I am excited!
> 
> PLease please please keep commenting you don´t know how much it helps my lazy, unmotivated, self criticizing ass!
> 
> Also on another note: Have you guys watched the music video to Girls like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko? If not DO IT it gives me so much emotions and I can relate to it SO GOOD, it conveys the feeling of being in love with your best friend or a girl in generall (Because girls are juST SO BEAUTIFUL) so amazing it hurts watching it!   
> Aaaaand it gives me a lot of Dany/Sansa/Margaery feelings, don´t even ask.
> 
> okay I´ll stop now. Thank you for reading I love you! (is it to early for the L-word? Is our relationship not there yet? I don´t care I love you!)
> 
> (I´m sorry for this word vomit it´s so damn late.)


	7. chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No amount of apologies can tell you how sorry I am!   
> You guys are so great and I am so late and I've had 900 words sitting in my drafts for months now and I thought about just posting it but it was just so so unsatisfying and I wanted to give you more and now I just wrote another 2000 words and it's six in the morning and I have no idea anymore what I even wrote so sorry in advance but I just wanted to give this to you now!  
> Here you go, with all my love!!!

()()()()

“A bouquet of clumsy words:  
you know that place between sleep and awake where you're still dreaming but it's slowly  
slipping?  
I wish we could feel like that more often.  
I also wish I could click my fingers three times and be transported to anywhere I like.  
I wish that people didn't always say “just wondering“ when you both know there was a real  
reason behind them asking.  
And I wish I could get lost in the stars.

Listen, there's a hell of a good universe next door,   
let's go.“

-e. e. Cummings

()()()()

Danys car is an old blue pickup defender and Margaery thinks it's strangely fitting, even though the other girl looks almost comical behind the wheel, the car big and almost mighty next to her small frame.  
Daenerys looks at Margaery and, seeing the look on her face, lets out a laugh.   
“It was my boyfriends.“  
Margaery waits for more to come, maybe some sort of story, but that's all the other girl says and there is something in her eyes that keeps the Tyrell from asking.  
There are three seats in the front and none in the back and Margaery takes the one by the door because she doesn't want to seem weird and crowd Dany.   
The other girl smiles at her, just smiles, it's not questioning or forced or uncomfortable or pitying or anything else and Margaery hasn't seen one of those „just smiles“ directed at her in a really long time and she notices only now that she missed them.  
The truck starts with a small roar that almost sounds like a cough and Margaery thinks she likes how much character this car has.  
It´s not like Loras´ sleek silver thing that's only expensive and nothing more.  
Great, now she is being philosophical about cars.  
They are driving for almost ten minutes already and Margaery notices the silence for the first time, which, she realizes, is a very good thing.  
Normally silences make her anxious and scared because she is always waiting for them to be filled by taunting and hateful words.  
With Daenerys, it's different.   
The radio is playing quietly in the background, some soft indie songs Margaery only gets half of but likes, and the other girl is humming under her breath to some of them.  
Outside the day gets sharper and wakes up fully and the sun is clear and the air biting and fresh, just like Margaery likes it.  
It's all very...fitting.  
She feels a little bit like she's been doing this forever, cruising the streets with the other girl, listening to soft music in the background, both of them in their own worlds just enjoying the company.  
Margaery thinks she could get used to this. She is afraid to.  
A few minutes later she notices they are not taking the usual road to the town center, and for a second she thinks that Dany probably doesn't want to be seen with her so they are going somewhere out of town, and she'd be okay with that, she gets it, really, but then she thinks maybe this was all just a big fat joke and Dany is taking her to some meeting place with Joffrey and the other kids from school, somewhere where they can all humiliate her and taunt her.  
She's not as okay with that idea. (She can't go through that again.)  
Her hands get sweaty and Daenerys must have seen the fear on her face because she slows the car a little, turns to her.  
“Hey, are you okay?“  
Her voice is soft but strong, two words Margaery's learned to associate with Dany by now, and there is real concern in her gaze and still some remains of a bruise on her face.  
Margaery is really stupid.  
Her fear fades and she relaxes again, Danys voice soothing her and she just smiles, clearing her throat.  
“Yeah, sorry, just...yeah.“ She knows her answer is stupid but Daenerys doesn't seem to mind, doesn't seem to notice and they just smile at each other for a second.  
It's kinda weird, but not bad. Danys eyes are really blue, a little violet when the light hits them right, and her skin looks smooth 

-that's not a creepy thing to think is it? Oh god Margaery shut up.-

and her smile is in a lot of ways simply breathtaking.  
She has really amazing eyebrows.  
Margaery turns her eyes to the street in front of them again, she can feel her face heat up a little, and, god, she is so weird around new people (new friends).  
Before they can talk more Margaery notices which street they are on and then something funny happens.  
Her whole chest and stomach become warm and squeeze together and her body lights up in a really soft way.  
This, she knows, is because she just realized that Daenerys Targaryen is the best kind of person, the most important one.  
She wants to hug the other girl because first, she saved Margaery from her brother (not the way Daenerys need to be saved from hers) and she makes her feel warm and not forgotten and like yesterday was not just the best kind of dream and then she does this, takes the opportunity to make something out of a chance encounter, to help people that everybody else just gives up on without looking back and she does it like this is the most normal thing in the world.  
Margaery is pretty sure Dany has no idea what a good person she is, she promises herself she'll make the other girl realize.  
The car comes to a slow stop and they are standing in front of the Stark house.

()()()()

Dany walks to the door proud and sure and after a few seconds Margaery follows, scrambling out of the car and taking fast steps to catch up with the smaller girl.  
She is still staring at the House in front of her.  
It's big but not like the Lannister house. It looks like a family home, like something warm and safe.  
It does not fit the Sansa she met and the one she saw the last few months at school, but it does fit the Sansa that used to laugh in the hallways with her friends and ate lunch with all her brothers and always had a smile on her face.  
The two of them reach the door and Margaery is nervous now.  
Her hands are in front of her and clammy and she smirks, keeping her walls up even though Daenerys is next to her and their arms are almost touching and she can feel the warmth the other girl is radiating.  
It's not the thought of seeing Sansa again that makes her nervous, because she feels connected to the redhead the way she feels connected to Dany.  
Both girls make her smile honest and soften the cutting edges of her lips. They make her whole body feel calm and content.  
But the thought of meeting any of the other Stark family members makes her take a deep breath.  
This is normal for her when it comes to social interactions with people she doesn't know but it is also because even though she knows Loras and Renly they are smooth and fake and too perfect and the Starks are loud and vivacious and always honest and rough and real.  
Margaery doesn't know how to deal with that.  
She'll be awkward and smirking and just hollow on the surface and she's scared they'll see right through her and hate her.  
Starks don't have time for cowards.  
She shakes her head, telling herself to concentrate and then she sees Dany press the bell so it's all too late now anyway.  
She steps a little closer to the other girl, her sweater grazing the thin grey material of Danys pullover and Margaery can feel the corners of her mouth soften, her shoulders relaxing and she thinks that this is better.   
Right then and there she is honest in all the ways she can be, with her unsure smile and fingers grasping her sleeves and anxious eyes.  
(For a moment she tries to imagine what it must be like for the people who can just go up to strangers and talk to them without thinking of all the ways they could be judged for any word they say, for whom every social interaction is not an exhausting and scary ordeal. She can't.)   
There are steps in the house and they do not sound shuffling and tired and weary but certain and strong so Margaery knows it's not Sansa.  
She looks to her right and sees Dany smile at her simple and true and just very nice and Margaery finds herself smiling back without noticing.  
The door opens and in front of them stands Caitlin Stark, guidance counselor.  
Sansas mother looks beautiful and regal like she always does.  
She looks at Daenerys and Margaery in surprise and Margaery really hopes Dany is going to do the talking because she certainly isn't.  
The blonde doesn't disappoint.  
“Hello Mrs. Stark. I'm Daenerys and this is Margaery, we go to school with Sansa.“  
The older woman nods, eyeing them both like she doesn't quite know what think.  
“Yes, I remember who you are. What can I do for you girls?“  
Her gaze locks unto Danys for a moment and Margaery can see the exact moment Mrs. Stark notices the remaining bruise around her eye because her forehead scrunches together for a second and then she turns her attention to Margaery.  
It makes Margaery both sad and angry, because she just knows that this is the reaction Dany always gets, most of them time it's enough for people to hear her last name, the last name she shares with her brother who is crazy, who turned Dany into an outsider and someone who is hurting.  
She remembers the way Loras voice changed when he found out she'd been hanging out with the Targaryen, remembers him closing the door in front of Danys face just half an hour ago.  
Margaery looks to the blonde, feels Mrs. Starks eyes on her face, can see Dany looking at Mrs. Stark, still smiling and polite and much too used to this.  
“We where wondering if maybe Sansa wanted to come out for brunch with us? I can drive her back home afterwards.“  
Caitlins eyes widen. She crosses her arms on her chest.  
“You want to go out with Sansa?“   
Her voice is unbelieving and skeptical and Margaery thinks once again how important and amazing Dany is for getting Sansa out of this house and away from people who have already given up and never tried to understand her in the first place.  
She can see Danys smile slipping for a second and when she answers her voice is harder, colder, and Margaery thinks about how her and Viserys can look and sound so alike when they are so so completely different.   
“Yes. Could you ask her if she'd like to?“  
The older woman eyes them for a few seconds more, and then Margaery can see the worry and desperation in her face and she realizes that Mrs. Stark does care, that she is scared of what is happening and that she has no idea what to do.  
“It's okay.“ Margaery thinks. “Just let her come out with us. Please. We all need each other. Yesterday she laid down in the grass with us and she talked and she looked a little bit less lost for a few minutes. We all spent that night together and now we are all three part of something. Please. I need to knows what this is.“  
She doesn't say any of this, of course, but she doesn't have to because maybe Caitlin could read it on her face or she came to the same conclusion, whatever it was it makes her nod and then turn around and walk up the stairs.  
She leaves the door open, and Margaery knows all she needs to know.  
Mrs. Stark may not know how to handle or help her daughter or accept that there is something wrong with her that is not Sansas own fault, but she wants her to get better and she does not care who is going to help her with that.  
She just wants what's best for her daughter because she left the door open and Loras didn't and so Margaery knows all she needs to know.

-get out of your head, Margaery. Your reading too much into things again.-

Dany shifts next to her, their shoulders bumping into each other.  
Margaery becomes warm.  
The other girl is biting her lip and Margaery may only know her for a few hours but she already knows that that is out of character for her.  
She bumps Danys shoulder again, this time on purpose.  
“What's up?“  
Daenerys turns to her and shrugs, her eyes finding the brunettes and staying there.  
“I just, I just really hope Sansa says yes to getting brunch with us.“   
It's not everything she wants to say, Margaery knows this, Danys eyes tell her as much, but she also knows that it's all the other girl needs to say.  
They both get what she means.  
There are steps on the stairs again, this time soft and unsure and Daenerys face lights up.  
She turns around and so does Margaery and there is Sansa Stark, standing in the doorway in a hoodie and sweatpants, her eyes searching the floor and she looks so incredibly young and so incredibly vulnerable and when she looks up her eyes are empty and her face is weary and pale and Margaery thinks how sad and unfair it is that the two most amazing girls she knows are also the ones that make her heart break again and again.  
“Mom said you wanted to get brunch?“  
Sansa talks slow, like every word out of her mouth takes her so much energy and Margaery has a feeling that today is an especially bad day for the other girl.  
She is already about 90% sure Sansa is not going to come to lunch with them.  
Dany is still standing next to her and her smile is still honest and still truly for Sansa but it is also sad.  
Margaery decides to answer.   
“Yes. We´d love it if you'd want to come.“  
She knows Sansa wont, though.  
Knows that the other girl is too tired and too much inside of herself today to do something as silly and unimportant as brunch with them.  
Sansa looks up, her eyes taking in Margaerys face and Margaery can feel herself blushing.  
The other girl just stares into her eyes for a second but it's not uncomfortable and Margaery knows that for Sansa eye contact is a big deal and so her heart skips a beat.  
Sansa looks down again and takes a step back, hands disappearing into the pockets of her hoodie.  
Danaerys still hasn't moved and Margaery would love to know what's going on in her head right know.  
After a few seconds of silence she decides to be the one to free Sansa of her misery and is just about to turn around when she can see something in Sansa change.  
The redhead takes a deep breath, her whole body shuddering and then she sets her jaw, clenches her hands in her pockets to fists and squares her shoulders as much as she can.  
“Okay.“ she says, more to herself than to Margaery or Dany and then she looks up once again and Margaery can see all the energy and strength it's costing her, the way her whole body is fighting against it but Sansa is stronger. Sansa is so so strong.  
“Okay. Let's go.“   
And she does, Margaery and Dany parting for her and Sansa is going and going and she just keeps going even though her whole being looks ready to collapse.  
She opens the door of Danys truck and sits down, head leaning against the window and when Margaery looks to Dany the girl is smiling at her, completely beaming with so much awe in her eyes because most people may don't but the two of them get how hard this is for her, they understand the kind of strong Sansa is, that sometimes her strength makes her look weak when she is anything but, has been anything but these last weeks and months.  
Dany takes Margaerys hand and Margaerys whole body lights up from the inside and her cheeks hurt from genuine smiling and she thinks there will never be a better feeling than this, Danys hand in hers, Sansa in the car, holding eye contact with them and the three of them about to get bunch together.  
She squishes herself into the middle seat and her calf keeps knocking into Sansas and Danys elbow into her side and she can't really move but Dany keeps humming to the radio and she saw the corners of Sansas mouth lifting up and her own hand is still tingling and warm from where Daenerys held it in hers and she thinks there is no place she'd rather be.

()()()()

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, another chapter.  
> Sansa just breaks my heart but then again, they all kinda do and I love them dearly and I am very protective of them but I just know I'm gonna keep putting them through shit.  
> I HAVE SO MANY FEELS FOR THESE KIDS!! (Also, Margaery, you are kind of really gay. Of course your heart races and your body becomes warm when Dany touches you or looks at you because she is your new friend, of course!)
> 
> I really really hope you like it and it means the world to me when you review, even though I don't really deserve it, but seriously without them I wouldn't get anything done!  
> I read all of them again a few hours ago which motivated me to write the 2000 words so thank you!  
> Also, thank you guys for reading!!
> 
> If someone wants my tumblr: clexalicious   
> IF YOU SEND ME HEADCANONS OR WANT TO FANGIRL WITH ME OR JUST TALK ABOUT FEELS I WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL AND LOVE YOU!  
> sriously, come talk to me I'm lonely and desperate
> 
> *cue end of long ass authors note that nobody needs or wants, I'm sorry*


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It happened. I know, I didn't believe it either.  
> I'm really sorry, but also life, you know.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter and can forgive me and like always I'll try to update earlier but I can't promise anything :/ ;)  
> Please keep reviewing because it motivates me to write 3000 words chapters like this one!;)  
> Enjoy!

()()()()

This is not how Sansa had imagined her Sunday to go.  
Her mum knocks on her door and enters her room even though Sansa hadn't asked her to and then tells her there is someone at the door for her and Sansa get's up and down the stairs without asking herself who it might be once, because her head has been a deep foggy grey since she woke up and every time she tries to form a thought her brain just stutters and then stops.  
It's bad today.  
She came home in the early morning with the rest of her family and had felt so different.  
Her hands had brushed the flowers in their front yard on her way to the house and she had felt the cold morning dew trickle down her fingers and it had made her want to smile.  
Her whole body had ached but in a better way, she was tired but not exhausted down to her bones and organs.  
Daenerys and Margaery, she had thought. Had rolled the two names around on her tongue, remembered the faces to go with them.  
Sansa had felt so clear then, had remembered every moment she spent with the two in perfect clarity.  
Daenerys and Margaery, what weird weird girls.  
She'd seen them around school before, when she had still noticed things, and known them to always be alone, alone and unhappy.  
Except for Margaerys brother and her boyfriend hanging around her, but they'd only seemed to make the smirk she was always wearing sharper.  
Daenerys, everyone knew, was often seen under the bleachers, squinting into the sun, sometimes smoking.  
She's crazy, they'd all say, her whole family is.  
Sansa thought about her honest smile, her non judging eyes, thought she seemed like the sanest person in this town.  
She thought about Margaerys simple invitation, the cold grass under her back and the warm bodies next to hers.  
Daenerys and Margery, who looked at her like a person and who made Sansa wake up a little, made her remember that she was still alive.  
She went to bed then, content and even a little bit hopeful, even though she'd never admit it, that things were gonna change.  
And then she woke up and her body was as heavy as stone, weighing her down, her mind a numb mess, her skin uncomfortable.

She's making her way down the stairs and if she were to fall now her head would crack open on the marble stone and all the ink would drain out of her and her mom would sigh what for a mess she made again.  
They'd all ignore her broken body, her still chest and open, unblinking eyes, and they'd tell her to cheer up, to look a little bit more alive.  
Arya would roll her eyes and tell her to stop being dramatic.  
Sansa stops on the stairs for a moment, her sweatpants sweeping the floor, and just stares.  
Behind her, at the top of the staircase, her mother clears her throat.  
Sansa blinks.  
“You shouldn't let them wait so long.“ Her moms voice is not judgemental, not reprimanding, not telling Sansa off for being rude.  
It's almost hesitant and maybe a little bit soft.  
The Starks are not soft people.  
Sansa almost wants to turn around and look at her mothers face and what she'd see there but she doesn't.  
Instead she walks down the remaining steps, her feet never once slipping, and then she is almost to the open door, a flash of silver and brown and maybe her heart knows before she does because it stutters once, and then, oh. There they are.

()()()()

The booth she sits in is scratchy and old and her mother would definitely crinkle her nose at it.  
They are at Shae's, a little diner almost out of town, and Sansa has only ever been here once before, back with her old group of friends who had loudly insulted the food and everything else and then left without paying, even though they all had more than enough money.  
She keeps her head low, hopes Shae who is behind the counter doesn't remember her.  
The three of them are sitting in a U-booth, Dany in the middle, with her back to the window, and Sansa and Margaery across from each other.  
Sansa studies the other two, it's all she can do at the moment because she is still fighting her body and brain every step of the way like she did when she walked up to Dany’s car and took them up on their offer of brunch.  
Her whole body is shaking a little and her skin is clammy and she thinks this must be what going through withdrawal feels like.  
Margaery is busy looking at her menu, biting her lip and leaning on the knuckles of her right hand.  
Her hair is up and it looks like it's only just drying, the tips curling slightly and the color having paled to a lighter blue.  
She is in a red sweater that looks incredibly cosy, the sleeves rolled up once, making them end just above the wrist.  
Margaery is breathing slowly through the nose, her eyes flitting over all the options on the menu, her lip freeing itself from between her teeth.  
Sansas chest tickles in a funny way. She scratches at it, lays her hand over her heart. The beating is rhythmic, if a little faster than normal. Alive alive alive.  
She moves her head to her right, to Daenerys sitting still in her seat, playing around with the packs of sugar, the menu laying untouched next to her.  
Her sweater is thin and grey, not silver like her hair that is full of braids but open and free and long all the way down to her hips, making Sansa’s hand twitch with the desire to just touch.  
Dany’s head is bowed down slightly but Sansa can still make out her eyes, which are a darker blue today, almost like the sea during a storm.  
Dany is pale, but she is still almost the tannest of them three.  
The yellowing shadow of the bruise around her eyes is still a stark contrast against her skin.  
Sansa feels something hot rush through her at the thought of someone hurting Daenerys, who has only been nice to her in the most selfless way.  
Good people, Sansa thinks, are never happy.  
But then, that doesn't mean that bad people are, because she isn't.   
Dany looks up then and catches her eyes, long dark lashes fluttering against high cheekbones every time she blinks, and Sansa wants to look away but she can't, the hand on her chest shivering over the way her heart rate slows down to a normal pace.  
Funny, how these two girls keep grounding her.  
Daenerys smiles at her, the corners of her mouth turning up, the right one always a little bit before the left.  
So easy, Sansa thinks, but her own lips weigh a thousand tons and lifting them up is always so exhausting.   
Daenerys keeps looking at her but there is no judgement or expectation in her eyes, she's just smiling at Sansa because she wants to, she needs nothing in return.  
In her head Sansa smiles back. She grins at Dany and they laugh together but even imagining it is so hard, makes the insides of her brain itch.  
In reality all she can offer is a slight nod of her head and the other girls eyes light up, grey and blue and violet, like Sansa just did something extraordinary.  
Her stomach is warm and her chest tickles.   
Out of the corner of her eye she sees Shae coming up to them, older than them and with darker hair than Margaerys.   
Sansa swallows and sinks down a little in her seat, the embarrassment and nervousness somehow welcome because they are real feelings and Sansa doesn't get to feel those all too often anymore.  
She can see Shae look Daenerys up and down quickly and then smile at her, teeth white and perfect.  
“Dany. It is good to see you again.“ Her accent is both strong and beautiful, her voice a little raspy.  
“Hey Shae.“ Dany answers, looking up at the other woman and Sansa breathes.  
Shae looks at her and Margaery, who is almost fidgeting in her seat and smirking, now and she raises her eyebrows, smile widening.  
“Ahh and I see you have brought friends. That is a surprise, but a good one.“  
Shaes eyes linger a little longer on Sansa and she seems to be thinking for a moment, but then she looks back to Daenerys.  
The silver haired girl is rolling her eyes but her cheeks redden and Sansa and Margaery share a quick look, both of them surprised at the blush coloring Danys face.  
Margaerys eyes are wide but her mouth is forming into a smile, a real one, with both of the corners of her lips turning up, her nose crinkling a little.  
Sansas heart stutters again and the air around her is warmer, the table under her hands rougher, everything a little bit more extreme.  
She tears her eyes from Margaerys.  
Shae picks up on the silence between the three of them, the slightly awkward looks, and Sansa can see her smiling to herself.  
“Well then, what will you order?“ She takes a little notebook out of a pocket of her apron and Sansa remembers that she hasn't looked at the menu once.  
Daenerys hasn’t either but she smiles up at Shae.  
“I’ll take my usual.“   
Shae nods and doesn’t even take notes, like she knew that all along. She turns to Margaery next and Sansa thanks god because she has still no idea what to order.  
Margaery clears her throat and twitches on her chair.  
“Um…I’ll take the pancakes, I think.“ So different than the Margaery that smirks at school, but a good different, Sansa thinks.  
Shae raises an eyebrow.  
“You think?“ but she’s smiling and her words are not meant to be mean, Sansa knows and she hopes Margaery does too.  
The other girl is blushing slightly and shifting a little bit more in her seat but she doesn’t look too uncomfortably under Shae’s mocking stare.  
Sansa notices that she cares.  
“Yeah no, I’m sure of course. And a coffee please.“  
Margaery sounds surer now, and she sits up a little. She smiles at her without any mockery now and it almost seems like Margaery just passed her test, which, maybe, she did.  
Shae writes Margaerys order down and shifts her attention to Sansa now, which surprises her even though it was the only logical next step.  
Sometimes Sansa forgets that she exists, that she’s not just someone looking in on other peoples live.   
Even though her body is so heavy and her thoughts feel like ink that just wont drain out of her head she sometimes feels like a ghost. (She sometimes wishes she was one.)  
Shae is still looking at her expectantly and Dany is smiling at her all soft but not pityingly and Margaery is biting her lip again in that way that makes Sansas chest itch all funnily.  
“What can I get you, little fox?“  
Shaes eyebrows are raised again but once more not in a mean way, and Sansa thinks that maybe Shae just is not a mean person, which is good, she thinks, since she seems to be one of Daenerys friends and Daenerys, Sansa is sure of, needs more not-mean people in her life.  
She ignores the nickname, even though “little fox“ sounds so pretty coming from Shaes lips that it makes Sansa want to smile.  
Margaery does, and Dany too.  
“I’ll just take the same as Margery, please.“  
Her voice is like a gust of wind but Shae does not ask her to repeat herself and Sansa thinks she likes this woman.  
Her throat hurts from using her voice and after Shae writes her order down too and excuses herself with a smile at all of them, lingering on Daenerys and giving her a long look, Sansa feels her skin stretch across her bones uncomfortably and everything come a little too close and her head becomes real heavy.  
She knows what this is, her body shutting down, and she sees the other two notice something is happening.  
Margaerys eyes get big and she looks at Sansa like its her hurting, like seeing Sansa like this hurts her physically. Like she understands.  
Daenerys brows are furrowed in concern but her hands are clenched a little too tight on the table in front of them. She looks like she’d do everything to make Sansa better, like she’s so angry at whatever makes her feel this way, like the thought of Sansa in pain saddens her.  
(Sansa gets that. She sees Dany’s paling bruise and knows what the other girl feels when she sees Sansa collapse into her head and herself.)  
(It’s funny how these two girls she has known for one day now, one single day, can read her so completely, can see what her own family can’t. But then again, Sansa isn’t laughing, and it’s not funny at all.)  
Oh well, Sansa thinks, she had tried, she’d tried really hard today. She thinks, maybe, the hardest she ever has.   
But this had been coming all along, she had been naive to ignore it. Or maybe too hopeful, if her body and mind even know how to be that anymore.  
Dany, Sansa can see it in her eyes, makes a decision then. She inches closer.  
Oh no, Sansa thinks somewhere back in the deep dark parts of her mind, do not do that. Please no, I don’t want to disappoint you.  
But for once Dany seems to not get what Sansa wants to tell her, and she settles her elbow next to the redheads, and Sansa can feel her warm skin even though they are not really touching yet.  
“Sansa.“   
Oh, Sansa thinks, she hadn’t known that people simply saying her name could feel like this, could feel like anything at all.  
Look how wrong she was.  
“I know I haven’t said this yet, which is really stupid because it’s kind of the reason I wanted us to have brunch and the reason I turned up at your doorsteps on a sunday morning, but…“ here Daenerys pauses and Sansa sees Margery looking on confused and Sansa gets it because Dany is the bravest person she knows and right know she is nervous and maybe scared. While talking to the two of them.  
“I really enjoyed yesterday. With you. And Margaery. And even though this may sound stupid now, and even though I’m probably making a fool out of myself, I wanted the two of you to know that it meant something to me.“  
Sansas hand settles over her heart once again, without her knowing, and she feels it. Ba boom, ba boom.  
Dany is still looking at her with those deep blue eyes and Sansa can see silver in them too (it’s like everything about Dany shines in the saddest way) and Margaery is still looking at Daenerys and like this they all connect somehow. (Because Sansa is looking at Margaery now and none of them are looking at themselves when they all have things that try every minute to make them drown in their own minds.)  
Dany isn’t finished yet and she continues, even though neither Sansa or Margaery have reacted in any way yet, and Sansa is once again reminded of how brave this girl is.  
“And today, that you both came and that we’re here right know, that means a lot too.“  
Sansa sees Margaerys smile become blinding once again and, hey, she can feel her own body again and her head becomes a little lighter.  
Daenerys sees it too, that real smile and the corners of Margaerys eyes crinkling, and her whole person becomes lighter. Like the sun, Sansa thinks.  
Dany is back to looking at Sansa now and her skin is still not in anyway touching hers but Sansa starts to wish it was.  
“So I just wanted to say that. And if this is too much right now, that is so okay Sansa. We’ll just try another time.“  
Sansas head moves on it’s own accord, swiveling to look at Daenerys and out of the corner of her eye she can see Margaery do the same.  
Another time. Oh.  
She scratches at her heart softly but weirdly it’s the only place on her body that itches now, and she can even lift her head without feeling like she has to lift the weight of the whole world.  
Another time.  
Dany sees the both of them looking at her like they do and she raises her eyebrows and then understanding dawns on her.  
She laughs then. Without holding back.  
“Well yeah, another time. I mean, you get that after heart to hearts under the stars we kind of have to become friends now, right?“   
Margaery shakes her head and Sansa feels like doing the same.  
“You are really amazing, Daenerys, anyone ever told you that?“  
Dany smiles at that and it’s blinding, in all the best ways, but it’s also sad and Sansa knows, no, no one has ever told Dany how incredibly good of a person she is.  
(It sends something hot and angry to the pit of Sansas stomach.)  
But there is still the matter of what Dany has said, that it’s okay if it’s too much for Sansa today. It’s okay it’s okay it’s okay.  
And if she’s being honest with herself it really is too much. She can still feel all the ways her body is wrong and not her own today, knows that she is still at the brink, an inch away from her mind giving up completely and everything in her powering down.  
But also, and this is new to Sansa, she kind of really does not want to go.  
She is still numb to most of everything, nothing in her has healed in the past days, but there is Daenerys being the bravest and best kind of person and telling them they are friends when neither Margaery nor Sansa herself have given her any sign that they want to be (even though they want to be, but Sansa knows that her and Margaery are similar in the way they both have problems letting their thoughts ever see the light of day) and then there is Margaery biting her lip and looking at the two of them with big eyes and smiling the realest and most honest smiles Sansa has ever seen and not apologizing for it, even though Sansa knows she wants to, feels like she has to.  
And Sansa is still numb to most of everything but somehow she isn’t to them.   
(She may not know much right know, her brain has drowned a long time ago, ink seeping into every crack of it, but she knows that this counts for something. She really wants it to.)  
And both Margaerys and Danys sweaters look so cozy and warm and Sansa has no idea why but somehow that counts for something too just like Margaerys hair slowly drying and Daenerys car having three seats in the front does.  
The other two are both looking at her in the simplest way, they don’t expect anything from Sansa right now and that, too, is new.  
Sansa looks up then and pushes everything deep and dark down, where she knows it will catch up to her later, but that’s okay as long as it’s not now.  
She looks between the two of them.  
“We haven’t even had our pancakes yet.“  
Dany smirks and then she laughs and Margaery snorts and doesn’t look embarrassed by it and Sansa can feel her heart underneath the palm of her heart, so alive, and Shae is there, a few meters away, with tablets full of their food.  
Margaery shifts in her seat once more, and it’s not nervous as much as it’s excited, and grins between the two of them, all pretty and honest and soft around the edges.  
“Well“ she says, “would you look at us.“  
And Sansa does, and she smiles then too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew this is so cheesy but I need them to just really love and help each other okay?
> 
> Also, based on Sansa and her depression I'll get a little personal down here now and you are welcome to skip this! ;)  
> So I write a lot of the stuff Sansa is feeling based on personal experience and feelings/lack of feelings (also Margery when it comes to the social anxiety stuff) and so I know that this is not how everyone experiences depression but it's how I did and still do.  
> I was in a really bad place for close to three years and it took me so much time to realize that what is was feeling was legit and not just me being lazy you know and took me even longer to talk about it, that's still not easy.  
> So I skipped school and just did nothing for days and didn't speak a lot, was numb a lot of the time and felt too much other times and it escalated and then was better for a while and the went downhill again.  
> At the beginning of the year I made the decision to quit school completely which I still don't know if it was the best/right decision there are days I regret it and I miss it a lot too. Also knowing I'll probably never be able to go to university and study, which was always always my plan and dream, is really hard especially when I see all my friends celebrate.  
> But I was at a place where I could not go on like I did and I was more than once about to do something really really stupid and so I made that choice for myself without listening to what anyone else said.  
> Right now I am just kind of in between of things, have no idea where I'll be this time next year or tomorrow or what I'll do now. I always had a plan and this was not it.  
> But you know what, for the last four five months I've felt so much better than I did anytime in the last three years and I'm feeling so many things again I haven't been able to feel in such a long time and I've had people come up to me and tell me that they've missed me the last years even though they saw me every week and tell me they are glad I'm getting back to the old me again and wow, I never realized that my depression and everything else had impacted my personality and me so heavily.  
> But at the moment I'm so content for the most part. I mean sure I still stress and cry because I have literally no idea what to do now but like, as myself I'm happy for the most part which yeah, is pretty great.  
> I mean I'm good and seriously getting there, you know? (No self-harm, no suicidal thoughts and for the most part really comfortable in my sexuality, which took a long time.)
> 
> So like, end of story, if you feel really bad right now or know someone who does or did and need to talk with someone about it/want to or for any other reason need someone to talk to or have any questions I just wanna say that I'm here and you can write me on tumblr (kkidstoday) or here and I'll help you any way I can or just listen or whatever you need.  
> Just, it will actually get better and it will definitely be different one day and even if things don't work out the way you want them to they will work out, I seriously believe that now.  
> So come talk to me if you want to!
> 
> Okay that's it, I'm finished now!;)   
> Please review and tell me what you think, I really hope you like this chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> camillaisalone asked for more Dany angst. I give you, DANY ANGST. ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Also, another 3000 words woooo

()()()()

 

Dany drinks tea when everybody else drinks coffee.   
It’s always been like that.  
Her father drinks his morning coffee and Daenerys makes herself a cup of warm water and sits down next to him while he is reading the paper, looking through her children book like it’s something much more important while her father smiles into his mug.  
Her mom makes cappuccinos for all her friends that are waiting in their garden in the afternoon sun and shows Dany how to brew her first real tea.  
Viserys sits across from her at the counter and stares her down while she tries to sip her still much too hot chai without any noise and her tongue still stings hours later, when she’s spitting blood into the sink from a cut in her lip.

Now the weather outside is getting colder again and she can wear her long, cozy sweaters without looking weird and Shae sets down her Green Tea with honey in front of her and Margaery Tyrell is to her right and Sansa Stark to her left and Dany smiles into her mug and only sips from it when she’s sure her Tea has cooled down.  
She has all the time in the world.

 

()()()()()

 It goes like this:

Her brother hasn’t always been crazy but Daenerys thinks her father may have been.  
When he came home from work he would always catch her in his arms and fly her around the room.  
“My little princess.“ he’d say. And then he’d whisper, for only her to hear: “one day you’ll be my queen.“  
And Dany loved her dad.  
When she would lay in bed later, she’d hear him pacing in his office, and muttering under his breath.  
He’d scream sometimes, and then he’d throw things and six year old Daenerys could hear glass after glass shattering on the wall.  
Her mothers soothing voice only ever made her fathers screaming angrier.  
Her brother, ten and much taller than Dany and skinny and with hair as pretty as hers (but always short because “That’s how men wear their hair, Viserys. Don’t be a pussy.“ and Viserys cried in bed afterwards with a head full of freshly cut silver locks and Dany wound her arms around him and whispered “we can share mine.“ and Viserys had turned away from her and scoffed full of tears. “Don’t be silly, Dany. I’m not a girl.“), he’d come and kneel in front of her bed and tell her about the monsters downstairs and that “Father’s protecting us Dany. He needs to scream so the monsters are afraid and he needs to throw things so they know how strong he is.“ and in the morning everything was alright again and her Daddy never stopped being her hero.

They die when she is fourteen.  
“My little princess.“ her Dad says and over the years his eyes have only grown darker and wilder and his touches on her head and hair and back lingered and her stomach always twists uncomfortably when he whispers “Someday…you’ll be my queen.“ and his hot breath is at her ear and Dany learns to smile without meaning it.  
There is a fundraiser out of town that night and her mother kisses her head and hugs Viserys and looks at them both seriously and Dany thinks she’s going to say something important then but then her mother just smiles, the corners of her mouth are sad, and hugs them both again, longer this time.  
“Don’t stay up waiting for us to come home, okay?“ she says.   
Daenerys is already tired and yawning but Viserys holds their mothers hand, not letting go, and Dany remembers rolling her eyes because come on, her brother is eighteen.  
“Don’t go.“ he whispers and looks into their mothers eyes, a frown on his face.  
“Oh my boy.“ she says. stroking his face. “It will all be alright.“  
And then they are gone and Daenerys never sees her parents again.

Viserys gets custody of her without any fuss.  
It’s in their parents will and they don’t really have any other relatives.  
He doesn’t get to go to college and he doesn’t get to leave at all and while everybody is 18 and young, he is planning their parents funeral and sometimes when Dany thinks about it she understands why he hates her.  
She lives in a house too big for two and has a brother who never steps out the door and slowly she can see Viserys loosing his mind.

 

()()()()()

 

They eat mostly in silence but it’s not uncomfortable so Dany doesn’t try to start a conversation.  
This, the three of them sitting in this booth on a Sunday having brunch, is already more than she had hoped for, to be honest.  
Yesterday, seeing a scared and frozen Margaery being dragged along by a vicious Joffrey, who had a look in his eyes that reminded Dany too much of her brother, had been very unexpected.  
And then, being interrupted by a silent and sad Sansa, the three of them laying on the cold grass, sharing thoughts so unimportant and at the same time so significant.  
Dany had tried not to laugh, really, because what was the likelihood of the three saddest girls in the whole town meeting like this, sitting under the stars and ignoring each others obvious problems.  
Later, after she had gone home (walked. Because Viserys couldn’t be bothered to wait for her.) her brother had already been in his room and she was able to lay down without having her night ruined.  
In her bed she had started thinking about Sansas soft red hair and Margaerys soft blue eyes and both their soft hearts and she had cried then, silently and not knowing why.  
The next morning she got into her car before Viserys woke up.  
Her plan hadn’t been this, having brunch with the two of them, but she hadn’t stopped thinking about Margaery or Sansa since Sunday night and after driving around for a few hours she had found herself in front of the Tyrell home.  
The rest, well, that was just Dany following her gut.  
But she’s glad she did, she’s really happy.

 

()()()()()

 

It’s like this:  
Dany doesn’t do things thought through. Dany tries not to think very much at all.  
There are a lot of things she wouldn’t be able to ignore anymore if she thought about them.   
(Like her home life, and her future if she keeps skipping classes, and her often too heavy heart, and Viserys, and Viserys, and Viserys…)  
She acts and then she lives with the consequences and mostly her life is just an abundance of bad decisions.  
She smokes under the bleachers because she knows what everybody in school says and she can’t listen to them because she can’t think about it.  
(“Her father was crazy and now her brother is too and so is she, and so is she.“  
She climbs over the Lannisters fence because they have the nicest garden, a garden they don’t deserve, and she needs a place to be that’s not her home (house).  
She helps Margaery with Joffrey because she knows the look in his eyes (and the one in Margaerys too) and she knows what would have come next. Her face throbs at the memory.

There is action and then there is reaction.  
And then this morning Dany wakes up and climbs into her truck and drives and drives and does not stop thinking about two girls. One looking like fire but she’s just a flame so close to extinguishing and the other a sharp stone that’s melting on the inside.  
And then she makes a decision.  
And she thinks it through.  
(She thinks about what would happen if Margaery would smirk at her and laugh and tell her she’s being silly and her brother Loras arrived at the door and laughed too and then called Viserys to tell her about how crazy his sister is being, turning up at the door of a girl she only met the night before and Viserys will wait for her when she comes back, his eyes, like always, full of hate. Margaery will never smile real again and only ever smirk.)  
Loras Tyrell does arrive and open the door for her and he does think she’s crazy, Dany can see the way he looks at her, but Margaery always surprises her in the best possible way.  
(And then she thinks about what will happen if they pressure Sansa, if they’ll only make her worse and she’ll get even sadder and thinner and paler. And then one day Sansa won’t turn up to school and the day after and the day after and never again. And it will be Danys fault.)  
Mrs. Stark looks at them skeptically but Dany is so so desperate and the older woman sees that too and then Sansa appears and she looks worse than before and Dany has given up, she won’t tell Margaery (who’s looking at her with far too hopeful eyes) and she tries not to let it show, but she has given up.  
But Sansa, she’s stronger than Dany can only wish to be and she surprises her in the best possible way too.  
How wonderful Margaery and Sansa are.  
Then they are sitting at Shaes and the older woman looks at Dany longer than normal and she blushes because she knows what that means. Shae has always been so good at reading her.  
And then Sansa starts to shake and breathe too hard and too fast and Dany thinks, she thinks about what she can do to help and she decides to tell the truth, the thing that’s been on her mind the whole time, that she’s tried to ignore and NOT think about.  
And somehow it helps.   
(Friends. Dany says and she tries not to sound too hopeful. Margaery and Sansa, she thinks, please let us be friends. I don’t know why but you are too important. I need this and I’m being selfish and I need you.)  
“We haven’t even had our pancakes yet.“ Sansa says.  
“Well, would you look at us.“ Margaery answers.  
I can’t, Dany thinks, this is all to good to be true.

 

()()()()()

 

Daenerys pays and the others don’t complain because Money is nothing of importance for any of them. They all have too much and they all don’t know what to do with it.  
They get up and it’s just about to be one p.m and Dany knows that if she goes home now Viserys will be awake.  
Margaery and Sansa are at the door already and Dany is just about to join them when she sees Shae out of the corner of her eyes waving her over to the counter.  
The blonde furrows her brow and grins apologizing at the other two before making her way over.  
Shae is tall and pretty like she always is, all foreign grace and dangerous smiles.  
“Hey silver dragon.“ she says and Dany smiles at the nickname.  
“Hey you.“ she answers.  
Shae is drying glasses and leaning her head to the side, mustering Daenerys and the younger girl rolls her eyes.  
“What?“ she means it to sound strong and demanding but it only comes out questioning.  
Shae raises a dark eyebrow.  
“Dany. How come you made friends.“  
Daenerys scoffs. “Oh wow. Thanks.“ but Shae just laughs.  
“Come on, dragon. You know how I mean it. Tell aunty Shae.“  
Dany smiles at the counter.  
“You’re like four years older than me.“  
“And thus four years wiser. Now tell me, your pretty girls are waiting.“ She taps Dany on the nose with a towel.  
Dany flinches away from it.  
Shae’s smile slips.  
“Dragon…“ but before she can say anything that will make Dany have to think about the things she doesn’t want to think about she interrupts.  
“We met yesterday. At that stupid Lannister Party. Joffrey Lannister was being a complete asshole to Margaery and I stepped in and then in the garden Sansa ran into us and we kind of started talking. I invited them out to brunch today. I like them. But they are not my girls. or my anything, really.“  
Shae is looking down at the glasses she’s drying.  
“What about your friends.“  
Dany can’t help but smile at the thought and Shae notices.  
“Well, hopefully. We’re getting there, I think.“  
Shae looks up, stares at Dany for a second with a look the Targaryen can’t decipher.  
“Good. They seem nice.“ Dany nods. Shae grows serious then, standing a little taller but her face also softens.  
“But they also seem very sad.“  
Dany shrugs, tries not to show her hands clenched into fists, her set jaw, how she hurts at the thought of Margaery and Sansa in pain.  
“Well, we’re teenagers. We’re all a little sad. Teenage angst and all that.“  
Shae sets down her towel, leans on the counter and looks up at Dany with honest eyes.  
“Maybe. But maybe it is more.“   
Dany sets her shoulders, looks up, let’s the fire grow in her body at the thought of what “more“ could entail.  
“Well, they are my friends now. I can help them get better. Be less sad. I can protect them.“  
Shae looks at her for a few seconds and Dany stares back, doesn’t shrink, tries to think of nothing but the fire in her belly.  
Then Shae grins, and it’s soft in a way Dany hasn’t seen before.  
“Right there“ she says, pointing at the younger girl. “Is why I call you Dragon.“  
Daenerys smiles, pride in her chest. (Guilt in every other part of her. She doesn’t deserve that name. She’s not as strong as she makes everybody think she is.)  
The both of them are silent for a few seconds.   
Dany straightens.   
“I should go now. I’m their ride home.“  
Shae nods and winks.   
“Get your girls home.“  
Daenerys blushes. “Not my girls.“ She slowly makes her way backwards to the door, eyes still on Shae.  
“But your friends.“ the older woman says, pointing.   
“Yeah,“ Dany says, turning around now, grinning. “My friends.“  
She’s almost to the door, her body heating up in a comfortable way at the thought of Sansa and Daenerys, when she hears Shae calling her back.  
“Hey, Dany!“ the girl stops walking and waits, but doesn’t turn back around.  
“If they are your friends, maybe you can let them help you too.“  
Dany closes her eyes, ignores the images flashing in front of her eyes, the nausea in her tummy, stops thinking about what Shae means and then swallows, stands up straight again, smiles, and walks out the door.

 

()()()()()

 

Margaery and Sansa are waiting for her at her car and Danys smile starts to turn into a real one when she sees the two of them.  
“Hey, I’m sorry you had to wait so long!“   
Margaery smiles at her shyly and Sansa looks up at her for a second.  
“No problem. We’re good. Shae seems really nice.“ The brunette has her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, and even though her smile is nervous Dany notices that she seems otherwise comfortable, relaxed.  
Her smile grows at that.  
“Yeah, she is, but she’s also noisy.“ Dany winks and Margaery blushes and looks down.  
The three of them are standing in a triangle, with Sansa leaning against Danys car and Margaery standing diagonally next to her.  
They are silent, none of them knowing what to say.  
It’s a little uncomfortable but at the same time it’s not, because Dany thinks that she could never really feel weird with the two, for whatever reason.  
She’s just about to say something, anything really, when a quiet, scratchy voice beats her to it.  
“Thanks for inviting us.“ Sansa is looking down again, playing with the sleeves of her pullover but otherwise standing scarily still.  
Dany turns to look at her, her heart clenching at the sound of the other girls voice, her arms wanting to reach out and at the same time she feels a funny sort of pride for Sansa.  
Shaking her head she reminds herself to answer, while out of the corner of her eye she can see Margaerys smile widen and her rocking on the balls of her feet.  
“No, you’re totally welcome. Thanks for coming. I know it wasn’t…easy.“ Dany trails of at the end of her sentence, hating herself for bringing earlier up again.  
Margaery clears her throat, and then instinctively blushes at the sound, but then she meets Danys eyes, shifting between hers and Sansas.  
“I…I really liked today. With the two of you. And yesterday too. So, I get if tomorrow at school we’ll just ignore each other again, I really do. I mean, you’re you and I’m me and we’re different at school than now and we’re already outcasts and you probably don’t want to make that worse by being seen with me so I just wanted to say I get that, and it’s okay and we can still be friends, if you wan to.“  
She says all of it so fast that at the end of her ramble even Sansa is just staring at her and Dany holds her breath for a minute and then she can’t help but laugh.  
Margaery looks mortified.  
“No, no I’m sorry.“ Dany tries to explain. “I swear I’m not laughing at you, I’m sorry. It’s just that, Marge. I don’t think that anything could really make me more of an outcast and even if it could, I don’t care.   
You’re my friends now, and I’d like to be your friend inside as well as outside of school. If you want that too, I mean.“  
Dany tries not to sound too unsure, but she only now realizes that maybe Margaery doesn’t want to be seen with her. Only now realizes how much more likely that is.  
Margaery stares at her.  
“Well yeah, of course I want that. I mean, come on, yes of course. Sure, why wouldn’t I, yes yeah. Okay. I’ll stop talking now. Good.“  
Dany tries to stifle a laugh when she hears Margaery mumble something like “God, just stop being awkward“ to herself under her breath.  
Her relief is sitting low in her belly, turning her body warm and making her want to grin stupidly. Margaery wants to be her friend too.   
The two girls smile at each other before both turning to Sansa with waiting grins.  
The Stark girl notices them looking at her and leans further into the car, before looking up at them a little.  
“Okay, I’m good with that.“ She says quietly, before letting her gaze set on the floor again. And then, almost quieter: “Even though I don’t think I’ll be able to be quite as excited as Margaery.“  
Dany bites her lip, her eyes growing wide while she tries to inconspicuously peek at Margaery. The other girls mouth hangs wide open, staring at Sansa like she’d just grown a second head.  
Before Dany can start to worry about the situation there is a loud noise from next to her, and it takes her a second to realize that it is Margaery, snorting into the back of her hand, blushing crimson while doing so.  
Daenerys stares, her own smile widening with every funny little noise Margaery makes and then she can’t help herself anymore and they are both laughing and maybe behind her curtain of red hair Sansa is smiling too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked Danys POV for a change. I know it's a little different. Good different? Bad different?  
> Thanks for your awesome comments, they make my days! ;)   
> Please keep them coming, they always mean a lot!
> 
> And also you liked Shae, you get more Shae!;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you mean it took me forever/A YEAR to update? no that can't be.
> 
>  
> 
> TW: abuse mentions, kind of
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> (There are more notes at the end if anyone wants to read my four am thoughts I advise you don't they probably won't make any sense.)

()()()()

Margaery tries to sleep, but she always comes back to Daenerys and Sansa smiling at her.

—————

Sunday evenings in her house have always ever been boring and lonely.  
Renly spends them at his home, getting ready for school tomorrow and spending time with his brother and so Loras does not leave his room, whispering sweet nothings to his boyfriend over the phone.  
Margaery makes dinner on sundays and knocks on Loras door when it’s ready, and Loras comes out with his phone tucked between his cheek and shoulder, gets a plate of food and leaves again and he doesn’t really look at Margaery once.  
She sets the table for two, always, and then she sits down and eats alone, the house too big and too quiet except for Loras laughing behind his closed doors.  
Sunday evenings are far from her favorite. They only bring the reminder of Monday, inching closer and closer, making her skin itch with anxiety, and they only ever make her feel so alone.  
(It is one thing to just don’t have anyone to spend time with and it’s another to have someone there who just never wants to spend it with you.)

At noon she had come home after a silent but nice drive in Dany’s car. There had been music playing in the background and Sansa to her right and Dany to her left and she hadn’t needed much else to make her content. (Happy is too much of a needy word. She is not needy.)  
Margaery had hummed along to the songs she knew and Daenerys had smiled at her and Sansa’s hands had been open and her body turned to them.   
Margaery had imagined what it would be like to just keep driving and driving, out of this town, out of the lives of people who didn’t deserve them.  
(Maybe they’d all have a chance at being happy somewhere else.)  
Dany’s fingers had drummed rhythms on the steering wheel. Margaery had smiled the whole time.

Loras had not been there waiting for her when she came home. Hadn’t even said hello. She knows that in some ways he is punishing her, but also, and she knows this from all the other times he had acted like this without her doing something he didn’t approve of, he just has better things to do.  
That doesn’t mean he will let this just go, oh no, but she’s kind of glad that for now he could’t care less about the failings of his sister. That he’s giving her at least the remainder of the day to enjoy the fact that she has friends.

She goes to bed around ten and it takes her another two hours to fall asleep because whenever she closes her eyes red fire hair and silver braids appear in front of them and it keeps her awake only because it makes her smile so much.

———— 

Monday morning Renly appears at the door with two cups of coffee, like the perfect boyfriend he is. (Just not hers, but today that doesn’t hurt as much as it normally does.)  
In the car she sits in the back the way she always does, Loras and Renly in the front in their own perfect world.  
She almost likes it that way.  
What she does not like is Loras turning around after a few minutes (Renly is driving) and looking at her.  
What she does not like is the pity in his eyes.  
“We need to talk about yesterday, Marge.“  
She had known this was coming, had almost looked forward to it just so they could get it over with.  
Margaery already knows how this will play out. With “We“ Loras only ever means him and Renly. There is no room for her in that “we“. She is only ever there to listen and accept what they have to say.  
She tries to tell herself that she won’t care what they tell her, that she knows the truth about the Dany and Sansa.   
It is really hard though when Loras looks at her with those deep, disappointed eyes. (with her eyes.)  
She only wants him to be proud of her.  
(She just wants her brother to like her.)  
She looks back at him and she nods but she can’t really meet his eyes.  
(And this is his talent: even when she knows she has done nothing bad he makes her feel guilty, makes her feel wrong. She always wants to apologize to him all the time.  
Loras has many talents.)  
“I don’t know why the Targaryen girl was at our house yesterday,“ he says in that soft voice of his that he only ever uses on her. Like he’s talking to a child. “but that can’t happen again, Marge.“  
Loras never screams but when he talks like this she feels like he should be.  
She is in this car with him and with Renly who she mostly likes and she can’t go anywhere and her heart is beating against her chest, pushing against her ribs like it wants to escape this conversation just as much as she wants to.  
She swallows drily but answers.  
“I don’t understand the problem.“  
There is no strength behind her words but she tries to remember how brave Dany and Sansa are all the time.  
“Of course you don’t.“ Loras says. Her hands clench to fists. His voice is dripping like honey.  
Renly stops in front of a red light. (she thinks about jumping out of the car.) He turns around now too and Margaery feels cornered and claustrophobic and she sometimes wonders if Loras does this on purpose, if he plans to hold these conversations in situations he knows she’ll feel uncomfortable in, where he knows she can’t escape.  
Renly smiles at her all nice and sugary. Margaery wishes he would stop.  
“The thing is this. We already told you, the Targaryens are not really people you should be seen with, so in conclusion, Danielle“ (“Daenerys“ Margaery continues and maybe her voice is just a little sharp.) Renly continues: “Daenerys being seen at our house is not a good thing. People talk, Margery, and you really don’t want them to.“  
She wants to laugh here, because really? Like they are not already talking, like she doesn’t have to listen to whispers about her wherever she goes, like teachers don’t sigh and ask her to be more like her brother every. single. year. Like she isn’t living in this mean mean world, that always makes her think so horrible things about herself, all alone. Like she hasn’t been living in this world for years now. Anxiety has been building a cave and a castle and a whole damn city in her chest ever since high school started and maybe even before then, all because of the way people talk and never, never once before has Loras cared, never has he tried to do anything even though he is the one person who could and now that there is a possibility that people are going to talk because of something that makes her happy, suddenly he decides to do something about it.  
Margaery has a hard time grasping this, she can’t even come close to articulating those feelings and so she just stares.  
Loras takes that as his cue to take over from Renly again.  
“Listen.“ he says, like she can do anything else but. “Viserys Targaryen is not a good guy.“ And now that is something Margaery agrees on wholeheartedly.  
“And as far as I know their father wasn’t either. And growing up with those people, I mean, you don’t know what that does to a person.  
It’s not her fault, Margaery, but that Targaryen girl is definitely not like we are.“  
No she’s not, Margaery thinks, but she’s so much better.   
She spends the rest of the drive staring out the window and her stomach is a deep pit full of burning fire and she thinks for the first time maybe she almost hates her brother. (She knows she shouldn’t. He is no Viserys and that is how she’s lucky.)  
Her fists stay clenched in her lap while Loras and Renly whisper sweet nothings to each other and hold hands and she thinks about all the ways they are cowards and all the ways Dany and Sansa are braver than them.  
(She doesn’t say any of this though and she does not stand up for Daenerys and she lets Loras and Renly think they are right and when they arrive at school she almost stumbles out of the car, so glad she doesn’t have to spend more time in an enclosed space with herself.

She sees the Starks Jeep arrive on the other side of the parking lot and for a moment she almost just turns on the spot, ready to run to the building, but just the thought of seeing Sansa makes the hot ball of anxiety in her chest loosen, and she is selfish so she stays.)

————

(  
Usually, once they reach the school, Margaery tries to stick with her brother and Renly for as long as she can, lets herself be protected by their presence.   
Their lockers are on opposite ends of the hall and that is where she has to part ways with them eventually. (Loras never offers to walk her to class, never accompanies her the few meters to her locker, never really acknowledges her once they’re inside the building at all.)   
She is out of breath from the car drive, from not being able to really breathe for twenty minutes because of they way they make her chest feel small.  
(Sometimes sharing space with Loras feels like poison to her, makes her body react on the in- and outside. Margaery never tries to think of this as something that’s Loras fault.)  
Her brother leaves the car after her, graceful like he does everything, a certain power about him, and his hair like a golden halo. He looks at her once, sees the way she’s bend over like she’s just run a marathon, and looks away again and Margaery’s face burns at the disgust on his face.  
Renly looks at her pityingly, poor Margaery always making a fool out of herself, and that’s somehow worse but he’s also not her brother. He’s just a boy, and Margaery has all but given up on trying to change the way boys think about her, on trying to impress them.  
(He is not Loras, who is her brother and also her only real family.)  
The both of them, Renly and Loras, start walking towards the building together, side by side, arms touching with every step, eyes on each other and talking and Margaery doesn’t know if all the other students are really just oblivious to what’s going on there or if they don’t want to see it.  
She doesn’t follow because there is someone she’s waiting for, because she knows Sansa is in that big black Jeep that’s just now finished parking. It makes the whole situation just a little bit better.  
She almost wishes Loras and Renly would turn around, notice that she’s not stumbling after them, not trying to keep up, almost wishes they’d ask her what she’s waiting for, just so she can say “my friends“ and see the looks on their faces knowing exactly who she’s talking about.  
They don’t.  
They keep walking like Margaerys presence is not at all important to their lives, like it doesn’t matter wether she’s there or not and she can’t even pretend to be surprised in her hurt because somehow she’s known that all along.  
)

————

The Starks, in all their dark-headed, warm-blooded glory, arrive in a storm of noise and movement.  
The two older boys, Robb and Jon, are wrestling each other before going to the back to get the wheelchair, Sansa’s little sister Arya clambering out of the car before it has even fully stopped and hitching her fencing gear (that’s bigger than she is) further up her back before disappearing with a wave over her shoulder.  
Robb helps their younger brother Bran out of the car and into the wheelchair before catching a football in the head from one of his friends on the other side of the parking lot and racing over with a shout.  
And then there is Sansa, hair in a lazy ponytail, red, fiery strands dimmed the way everything about her is nowadays, clothes dark and nondescript and gaze unfocused and dim.   
She slinks out of the car without anyone noticing, like a shadow, but Margaery sees her. Can’t really take her eyes off of her.  
It hurts somehow, the way Sansa’s family is just so much. How they leave no room for the other girl in the way they fill spaces. How it seems so easy for them to just look her over.  
Margaery can see Jon joking with Bran before turning around and fidgeting with the strap of his backpack while saying something to Sansa.  
Sansa is looking at the ground, nodding once, and Jon turns back around, hands gripping the handles of his brothers wheelchair before steering him into the direction of the school.  
Sansa is standing alone now, gaze still adverted and Margaery wishes she would look up so they could see each other, so she could look into the other girls eyes and see their promise from yesterday there. The words “Friends“ are performing somersaults in her stomach.  
Margaery looks at her phone and they only have five minutes until they need to be in class and she can either do something now or just walk into the building on her own.  
Sansa hasn’t seen her yet and if Margaery wants to, this is her chance to ignore any of this happened, to catch up to her brother and his boyfriend.  
Before her brain has even finished the thought she is crossing the parking lot in long strides.  
When she is halfway there her mouth opens on it’s own accord.  
“Sansa!“   
People are looking at her now and she tries to ignore their looks, their whispers, their fingers pointing at her.  
Tries to ignore her heart curling in on itself thanks to all the unwanted attention.  
Margaery keeps looking ahead, at the reason she’s doing this, and when Sansa lifts her head and her blue eyes meet Margaerys she thinks this was easily worth it.  
Margaery is in front of her now and Sansa is still staring at her with big eyes, those pretty eyes, and Margaery smiles without really noticing.  
“Hey.“ she breathes. Her hands are shaking a little but it’s the good kind of shaking, the one she doesn’t really experience all too often.  
The way Sansa looks at her now, she thinks, she’d give everything to lock into her memories forever.  
Because right now, the other girl doesn’t look sad or numb or uncomfortable or anything like that, she just looks surprised, and this breaks Margaerys heart but it also makes her realize she did the right thing for once.  
Sansa didn’t think she’d come.   
Their eyes are still locked and it makes Margaery blush.  
She sees Sansas gaze drop to her pinked cheeks for a second, and then her pale hands are pushing a strand of red hair behind her ear.  
“Hey.“ she whispers back, and it makes Margaery grin in the way that makes all her teeth show, the way Loras told her makes her look stupid and silly.  
(She’d spent hours after hours training in front of the mirror after he said that, until she had found the smirk that made the corners of her mouth hurt but Loras look at her with something akin to respect.)  
She doesn’t care about that now, can’t remember why she ever did when Sansa licks the corner of her lip before saying “We should get to class.“  
She just nods, and when they climb the steps in front of the main entrance and their arms brush once for half a second she doesn’t say anything and only smiles that little bit brighter.

————

Daenerys isn’t in school.  
Margaery realizes that once half of her bio class has passed, the one where Dany normally sits in the back, doodling little dragons into her notebook (she only knows that because once on Dany’s way out that same notebook had fallen down right in front of Margaerys desk, spilling its contents for all the world to see and Dany had looked at her with those fierce eyes, like she was daring her to say something. Margaery hadn’t, she had just picked it up and given it back.) and Dany has still not arrived.  
Sure, Margaery thinks, often enough Daenerys just skips class, but then she remembers that Dany was the one asking her for brunch yesterday, the one who invited Sansa out too, the one who called them friends first. She remembers that Dany was always the one just that little bit braver than the other two of them.  
So Margaery thinks that if Dany was at school she would have already found them, either in the parking lot or now, here, in the class she should be in anyway.  
So the conclusion: Daenerys isn’t in school.  
This worries Margaery, turns her skin into a field of ants, making her want to itch and itch and itch.  
Maybe she’s overreacting, she probably is, but all she can think about is all the bruises she’s ever seen on Danys smooth skin, all the things no one ever talks about.  
Mr. Mormont asks her a question and when the others start to laugh she realizes that it wasn’t the first time.  
Her face is hot.  
“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?“  
Mr. Mormont smiles at her. She likes him, he is one of the few who never compared her to her brother, never sighed loudly when she stuttered out an answer.  
“Are you feeling okay, Margaery?“ he asks, but it’s not unkind.  
She’s halfway to saying yes and apologizing again when she stops herself. This is her chance, she realizes. She knows she wont be able to concentrate for the rest of the class so why stay, really.  
“Actually, no. Could I go to the nurse please?“ It’s rushed out all in one and Margaery is sure that only because she never asked anything like that before does Mr. Mormont just nod stunned and let her leave.

She doesn’t go to the nurse, but she guesses if someone asks she’ll just say she needed some air.  
The school grounds are completely empty. It’s a rather nice morning, Margaery realizes, a little foggy but the air is crisp and fresh.  
There are goosebumps on her arms, her thin sweatshirt not nearly warm enough this early in the day.   
The football field is still covered in dew and seems almost eery. Margaery thinks of liminal spaces.  
She makes her way to the bleachers quietly, hands stuffed into the pockets of her jeans.  
She still doesn’t really think Daenerys is at school at all, but for the sake of her anxiety and worried skin she has to check.  
At the end of the field, the last bleachers of the row, she ducks down under them, to where she knows Daenerys spends her time when she skips classes. Everybody knows this. It’s why no one ever goes there.  
Like they're all afraid of her, avoiding her like she’s some kind of wild animal.  
Margaery scoffs at that, anger in her chest at the thought of the way everybody treats this undeniably kind girl.  
She’s only known Dany for these two, now three, days but in that time all she’s ever done is give and give and give, not caring about what she’ll receive in return.   
She saved Margaery from Joffrey without ever thinking of herself.  
There is a blanket under the bleachers, on top of a pallet of wood, big enough to lie down on and an old chair in the corner.  
A table made out of two crates of bottles and a garbage can lid.  
Margaery has to smile at the little home Daenerys has built herself here. But then, she thinks, what are the reasons she has to make herself a home away from her home (house). A place where she is safe.  
Margaery sighs.  
How come these days not much makes her happier than the thought of Sansa and Daenerys, but at the same time there is not much that makes her sadder either.  
Sansa with her timid words and blank eyes and that big family that just lets her drown in them, and Dany with those taboo bruises and too much bravery for everyone else but herself and so many places that keep her away from home.  
And this is another reason why Margaery is worried, because she knows that while Daenerys skips classes like no one else, she never really skips school all in itself, and Margaery as well as anyone else in this stupid, frightened, cowardly town, knows it’s because she’ll take any chance to be away from her brother.  
Wether that means sitting at Shae’s until the evening, doing homework and helping out with the customers, or driving around in that pickup of hers for hours, just the same streets again and again and again, or if it means building a room under bleachers, a bed and a chair and a table, things you need if you spend hours in one place.  
But Daenerys isn’t here now, there is lots of empty space Margaery has no idea how to fill without soft words and always the right things to say and silver hair and bright eyes.  
She takes steps further into the space before laying down on the makeshift bed, hands folded on her stomach, eyes to the underside of the bleachers above her.  
“Where are you Dany?“ she thinks. “Why aren’t you here? Sansa and me, I don’t think we quite know how to exist together, just the two of us. We need you there to be everything we can’t be yet.“  
And then, whispered, quietly into the cold morning air in front of her: “If you come now I’ll stay here with you. We can skip class together and just lay here, and Sansa can take the chair and we can just share space.“   
She thinks that would be nice. They are good at that, just being by each other. It comes easier to Margaery than anything else has for a long time.  
Her hands fall away from her stomach, fiddling with the blanket she’s laying on, when she sees it.  
Above her, in the bleachers, like somebody carved them into the metal with a knife: dragons upon dragons. Some spying fire, some flying above her head, some sitting on stones and yawning. They make her smile as soon as she sees them, such clear proof that this is Daenerys space. They make her stand up, stretch her fingers so she can touch the ragged edges of the metal. How long this must have taken, how long Dany must have stood here on top of a chair, carving herself a sky full of protecters to watch over her.  
Margaery is smiling but she also thinks she could be crying. There is something so innocent about this, something so heartbreaking about the fact that the same person who did this, is seen as a monster by everyone else, because of things people are afraid she might do.  
Because of things her father did, of things her brother is still doing.  
Right then and there Margaery promises herself that she’s going to get Dany out of this town, out of this city, even out of the state. Sansa too. She doesn't know how or when yet, but she will.  
Her fingers are still following the trail of dragons when she notices, there in the corner of one of the benches, carved in like the rest, but older, almost a little rusty, letters, and then a sentence, even two:

Oh, please don’t go!

I’ll eat you up - I love you so!

 

(Margaery doesn’t touch those; it feels too personal somehow.)

 

 

()()()()

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so I hope you like this it is half past four am I have been writing for five hours I seriously can't tell if this is any good I need sleep.
> 
> To camillaisalone, my loyal reader (I know not the only one thank you all so much!!!) : so firstly sorry for the abnormally long wait I hope it wasn't too too long I also hope you haven't completely giving up on me are you still reading this, I get if not!  
> Spam me with comments as much as you want please it is the only motivation I have, seriously!  
> But to answer your question: I guess now comes the part where I have to admit that I haven't really read the books so I don't know that much/anything at all about characters that aren't in the tv show, I know shame on me.   
> So no, I don't think Margaerys other brothers will play a role in this or Rhaegar, really.   
> But I feel like my characters are pretty OC anyway sometimes I ask myself why I am even writing GoT fan fiction this could be anything but then I remember I love my girls so /
> 
>  
> 
> My general thought stuff about this chapter:   
> I feel like plot wise I have a relatively clear idea what is gonna happen now but writing it is another thing :/  
> Buut I thing what I want to do is just have them really show progress in the next chapters so Sansa will have more dialogue, Margaery and Dany will talk about like their home lifes (actually all of them will I guess) and what it's doing to them in some way  
> ALSO I know that the way I portray the relationship between Loras and Marge here is really unhealthy/emotionally abusive and this WILL be talked about.   
> Loras will be called out in one way or another, I don't plan on making him a character that's just like a bad person, like Viserys is, and there will be growth in him because right now he is just a complete and utter asshat I hate him.   
> But I don't plan on having Margaery completely lose her brother he will have to change a great deal though and do a lot of making up/earning Marges trust before they can have a good relationship 
> 
> I probably had more thoughts but I am deadass so tired.   
> Please keep commenting I know why would you but once again: I love those comments so much they just make everything better and sometimes I reread them and just get a spur of inspiration to keep writing so hey! that's cool.  
> tell me all your detailed thoughts I wanna know all of it!!
> 
> Thank you for reading! My tumblr: kkidstoday
> 
> AND ONE SPOILER/REASON TO KEEP READING: A WILD OLENNA WILL APPEAR AT SOME POINT! I'VE GOT THAT ALL PLANNED OUT!


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